


Kumakaia

by mohinikapuahi



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:06:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when people try to do what they think is best for their friends and how badly things get screwed up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my Nano fic, just over 60k of confusing relationships and angsty McGarrett.

Danny paced. He’d stop for a few minutes but inevitably he would start to pace again. 

His pent up energy made it impossible for him to wait passively. He should be used to this by now. Should be, but he didn’t think he ever would. Watching Steve go down should be easier than this, the damned fool kept putting himself in reckless situations, but it never got easier to deal with. Danny had almost choked on his own heart as he watched Steve fall over the edge of the pier. Danny had watched from the other side of the pier as Steve had launched into a flying tackle. He had just rolled to his feet after taking down the three hundred pound idiot who had decided to evade them, but he wasn’t even really balanced when said idiot had lunged from the ground and shoved Steve in the knees. 

Steve’s arms had windmilled wildly as he struggled to maintain balance right on the edge of the wooden structure before gravity won the battle and he fell. Danny had barely been able to breath while he cuffed the miscreant responsible and then leaned over the edge. The total silence from below gnawed at him until he could see his partner. Danny was praying to all the Gods he could remember and throwing in some that he wasn’t sure existed, Danny had leaned over the edge of the structure. Steve was lying motionless in about six inches of water. Danny ran back to the end of the pier, breathlessly calling 911 and pounded down the beach until he reached Steve’s side. Sloshing into the water, Danny threw himself to his knees at his partner’s side. Unwilling to move him and perhaps exacerbate any injury Danny only allowed himself to hold Steve’s head in both hands, bracing him against the ebb and flow of the tide and holding him above water. Since then everything had been a blur. Paramedics had arrived and dealt with Steve, while HPD took their prisoner into custody. Danny had refused to leave Steve’s side until he’d been unceremoniously locked out of the emergency department.

Realising that he could delay it no longer, he drew a deep breath and pulled his phone from his pocket making the call that he hadn’t wanted to make yet. How could he contemplate telling his partner’s lover where he was when he was still dealing with the fact that the man that he loved was injured?

“Rollins.” Cath answered as the call connected.

“Cath, its Danny.” He spoke softly.

“Danny, do you know where Steve is? His phone is going straight to voicemail.”

“That’s what I’m calling about, Catherine.” Danny answered, his voice filled with the worry he couldn’t quite squash.

“Oh my God. Please don’t tell me.” Cath’s words trailed off.

“No, God, No. Don’t even think that.” Danny quickly responded, kicking himself for even allowing her the time to think the worst, “He’s still in emergency though, I thought you’d like to be here when he wakes up..”

“Thanks Danny. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Cath spoke, Danny could hear her car starting as she spoke. “I don’t know what he’d do without you.”

Danny disconnected the call and sank into the seat behind him. The honest truth was he didn’t know what he would do without Steve. Besides his Monkey the only thing in the world that Danny wanted was Steve. The big, attractive trouble magnet was the only thing still tethering him to this island. Without Steve there would have been no fight when Rachel moved to Las Vegas, he would have meekly tucked his tail between his legs and followed, no matter how much it hurt to leave his new friends, his ohana behind. It wasn’t something that had happened over time, the attraction had hit him like a punch to the gut when they had first met. That’s why he’d been so prickly at the start. He couldn’t help that Steve made him want with a white hot intensity, but he could not like him. Liking him would only make the attraction worse. Only thing was he couldn’t not like the big lug. Steve may have been dangerous, but he knew his limits and the limits of his team and while he pushed those limits to their absolute edge he never went beyond that. Danny might have lusted after him but by the time Steve, beaten to hell and back had sheepishly given him a weekend with Grace at that dolphin hotel less than a week after they had met, Danny was already well past the point of no return, falling head over heels in love with him. He’d tried to keep a professional distance but as time went on it was getting harder and harder not to cross that line.

Danny looked up as he heard rapid footsteps pounding down the hall towards him. Approaching him was the only problem with the state of his affections. Really he couldn’t blame her. Cath in her short denim shorts and cut off tee shirt, her hair swinging across her shoulders in disarray was running towards him, she was every red blooded male’s wet dream, and an incredibly friendly and loving woman to boot.

“Danny, how is he?”

Danny stood and caught her in his arms as she flung herself at him. He hugged her tightly one hand lifting to hold her head against his shoulder. He couldn’t not like her; in fact if Steve hadn’t stolen his heart Danny would have seriously considered challenging Steve for her affection. 

“What happened?” she asked softly as she pulled back.

“A perp pushed him off the pier; he landed hard, but in almost a foot of water. He’s been unconscious since I got to him.”

“That’s not good.” Cath frowned, her dark eyes glistened with barely contained tears.

“Detective Williams?” a nurse called from the other side of the room.

“That’s me.” Danny answered, linking his hand with Cath’s and walking towards the nurse.

“Commander McGarrett is conscious, nothing broken, Doctor Peeters is keeping him for observation overnight.” She spoke with a smile. “If you like you can wait in his room; he’s having an MRI at the moment, but he shouldn’t be gone too much longer.”

“Thank you.” Cath hugged Danny in relief as she responded to the nurse.

~*~**~*~

They slipped into the non-descript room, Cath taking a seat in the seat already beside the bed, Danny pulled over another chair from beside the unmade bed on the other side of the room. Placing it close enough to Cath to be on hand to provide comfort if she needed it, Danny sat down. For the first time since he’d been in the hospital he noticed how filthy his chinos were. They were stained by dirty salt water and the liquid detritus that floated on the top of the harbor water. He thought about how lucky Steve was not to have fallen face down; having that crap in his lungs would have only worsened his condition. Sitting there, inexplicably nervous Danny couldn’t stay still. He bounced his knee rapidly until Cath reached out a hand and put her hand on his knee to stop it.

“Sorry.” He murmured as covered her hand with his. 

“Don’t apologise Danny.” Cath smiled at him. “Thank you for calling me. You didn’t have to do that for me.” 

“Why wouldn’t I call you?” Danny frowned, his brows pinched together as he looked up into her face.

“Why would you call me?” Cath shrugged.

“Because you’re his girlfriend.” Danny answered confused.

“You know he hates that term.” Cath reprimanded.

“And you know as well as I do that he’s emotionally stunted.” Danny smiled at her. “What else are you, just his convenience?”

Cath was silent for a moment, her fingers trailing across Danny’s knuckles. “That’s not him. He’s not like that at all Danny, you know that.”

“Not like what?” Danny frowned.

“He doesn’t use me. He wouldn’t do that to anyone. To my knowledge he’s never been like that. He’s just… complicated.” Cath shrugged her shoulders as she struggled to explain.

“Babe. Complicated doesn’t even begin to explain him.” Danny chuckled. 

Their conversation was interrupted as Steve’s bed was rolled back into the room. Danny rose and shifted his chair, moving to stand by the window while they repositioned Steve’s bed and made him comfortable again. When the nursing staff left, Cath stood and leaned over the bed, brushing Steve’s hair back from his forehead and pressed a gentle kiss on his cool skin.

“Cath?” Steve murmured, his voice slightly slurred, his eyes heavy lidded as he opened them to look into her face.

“Hey, tough guy, how you feeling?” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, trailing her fingers down his arm she clasped his hand in hers.

“Hurt.” He turned his head slightly on the pillow to look at her. “Danny shouldn’t have called you. I’m fine.”

“Why is that always the standard response when you end up in a hospital bed?” Danny grizzled from the window.

“Danny?” Steve asked gruffly. “You’re here?”

“Where else would I be, goofball?” Danny walked across to the end of the bed where Steve could see him without turning his head. “You’re my partner. Even if you have a death wish that you seem to want to fulfil….daily.”

“I don’t have a death wish Danno.” Steve sighed dramatically.

“Could have fooled me, Steven.” Danny patted Steve’s blanket covered foot.

“I don’t. I take calculated risks. I’m careful.” Steve let his head fall back against the pillow, his eyes closing.

“Careful like a gimpy long distance runner on the streets of Pamplona careful?” Danny ranted before his voice turned deadly serious, “I can’t afford to lose you babe.”

“Not going to lose me.” Steve muttered, unable to hide the pain he was feeling.

“Rest, Steve.” Cath stroked his forehead gently, smoothing out the furrows his pain was causing, “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Both of you?” Steve slurred as he slipped back into unconsciousness.

“Sure thing, babe.” Danny let his fingers rub his ankle through the blanket. “We’ll be here.”

They were both silent for long minutes, Cath rubbing her fingertips across Steve’s knuckles, Danny letting his fingers rub long slow strokes across Steve’s calf.

“You should go and change, Danny.” Cath murmured looking at him closely.

“No I told him I’d be here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“No offense, Danny, but you look like shit.” Catherine smiled affectionately at him.

“Thanks so much Lt Rollins.” Danny almost laughed, “But that hadn’t escaped my attention. I am a detective after all.”

“Seriously, Danny, thank you for looking after him for me.” Cath reached up to take Danny’s hand and grasp it tightly.

“Hey, I don’t do it just for you.” Danny smiled. “It’s a bitch breaking in new work partners.”

Cath’s eyes filled with tears as he spoke and Danny mentally castigated himself for forgetting what had so recently happened to Billy. He used the grip he already had on her hand to pull her up from the seat and into a tight embrace.

“Hey. Don’t cry.” He murmured into her shoulder, his other hand smoothing her hair back as she clung to him.

“I’m not crying.” Cath sniffled against his shoulder.

“I beg to differ M’lady.” Danny leaned back and pushed her hair from her face before wiping a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. “There’s nothing wrong with tears, especially when you’ve lost something special.”

“I gave up something special with Billy a long time ago.” Cath let her head rest against Danny’s shoulder as she spoke. “Billy was a good guy, and we had some really good times together, but he always knew that Steve was my ‘something special’, any romantic relationship with Billy was doomed from the start simply because Steve was part of our universe.” Cath’s laugh was self-deprecating. “I never lied to him, besides we made much better friends and colleagues than we ever did partners.”

“I’m sorry.” Danny pulled her tighter into his embrace.

“Not your fault. It’s not even Steve’s fault. He’s so badly damaged and so completely clueless, but he’s so special all at the same time.” Cath breathed against Danny, “I know that you know that too.”

“I’ll deny it if ever you tell another soul, but yeah, I do.” Danny released his hold on Cath, and brushed her hair from her face before jamming his hands into his pockets.

“Listen.” He cleared his throat. “I need to get out of here just for a few minutes, I’ve got a change of clothes in the car. It’s always good to have a back-up plan when you’re travelling with Captain destructo here. I’ll bring back something to eat, coffee or a cold drink?”

“Commander,” Cath smiled at him, correcting him automatically. “A coffee would be good, thanks Danny. You’re a good friend.”

Danny smiled at Cath and patted Steve’s leg and turned and walked out of the room without another word.

After he collected his clothes from the trunk of the Camaro, Danny trotted along the corridor and into a bathroom. Flicking the door locked he dropped his bag onto the edge of the waste basket and quickly divested himself of his filthy, sweaty clothes. Leaning over the sink he turned the water on and washed the briny smell from his body as well as he could in a small sink. Looking up into the mirror he assessed himself critically. His normally tautly styled hair was flopping tiredly and curling from were salt water had splashed it. Dark circles ringed bloodshot eyes as he appraised his appearance. Lifting his soiled clothes from the floor he extracted his badge, wallet, phone and holster and dropped the clothes into the wastebasket. There was no redemption for those clothes now. Slipping into the chinos and comfortable business shirt he kept in the car, he brushed his hair back as well as he could with no product and set off to look for food and coffee.

He was away from the room for less than thirty minutes and in the time he was away it appeared that all hell had broken loose.

“What the hell is going on Steven?” Danny bellowed as he walked through the door and saw Steve on his feet and swaying precariously.

“Do you have to fucking yell, Danno?” Steve stood shakily at the side of his bed, one hand clenched tightly in the blanket.

“I wouldn’t be yelling if you could do as you are fucking told.” Danny rushed to his side and slid under his arm taking some of his weight and stopping him from sliding to the floor. “Where’s Cath?”

“She’s gone to get a nurse for me, my call button wasn’t working.” 

Danny lowered Steve to sit in the chair that Cath had been in when he had left the room. “What did you have to promise her to get her to leave you?” 

Steve winced as he sank back against the seat. “Nothing.” He gritted out.

“Don’t lie to me Steven. Your Catherine she is an intelligent girl.”

“She’s not _my_ Catherine.” Steve snapped churlishly.

“Well who else’s would she be?” Danny asked rhetorically, “Now what did you promise her?”

“That I wouldn’t get out of bed.” Steve mumbled, leaning back and settling into the chair in an effort to at least abate the pain he was feeling.

“And yet, here you are, sitting on a chair by the bed.” Danny waved his arms towards the bed.

“D, please. Just let it go. Help me find some clothes so I can get out of here?” Steve spoke without looking at Danny, his fingertips tracing the back of his hand as he deftly withdrew his IV.

“The only thing I am going to help you with, Steven, is getting back into that bed.” Danny frowned as he watched and slapped Steve’s hand aside as he pressed the dressing back on the small wound that had started to bleed. “What the fuck are you doing, you maniac?” He pressed a hand against Steve’s forehead and gently pushed his head back until he was looking into Steve’s glassy eyes.

“Do you know why they are keeping you overnight, Steven?” Danny squatted down in front of Steve, his hand putting pressure on the sluggishly bleeding vein as he spoke.

“For observation, D, you know that as well as I do.” Steve sighed.

“And what pray tell does that mean, Steven?” Danny questioned.

“They observe. Danny is this going to take long? Could you just get to your point so we can get the hell out of here?” Steve slumped a little as he spoke, his skin paler than Danny liked, but Danny was convinced the only way to make his point was to make Steve suffer, even if just a little bit.

“Why Steven? You don’t feel well?” Danny smacked him on the shoulder.  
“No I don’t feel 100%.” Steve grumbled, “I just fell about 10 feet and landed in wet sand. I hurt all over. I want to go home and rest in my own bed.”

“Not going to happen.” Danny answered. “They want to watch you here so they can actually help you if something happens.”

“Nothing is going to happen, because I’m fine I just hurt that’s all.” 

“Could you please just do me a favour and stay here, just the night. I’m worried about you. Just stay. For me, please?” 

“It’s important to you that I stay isn’t it?” Steve reached forward to touch his hand to Danny’s.

“Yes.” Danny let his fingers lace with Steve’s and squeeze tightly. “You’re important to me, babe. They’re worried about your head. Just let them check you out. I want to make sure you’re okay. Alright?”

“I’ll stay.” Steve murmured as Cath came back into the room, a male nurse following close behind her.

“Commander, why are you out of bed?” the Nurse spoke, moving quickly to Steve’s side. He was huge, probably 6’ 4 with broad shoulders, golden skin and shoulder length hair pulled back in a loose tail. 

“The light is better here.” Steve deadpanned, his eyes closing wearily.

“Commander. My name is Joseph. I’ll be your nurse for the next twelve hours and I’d just like to say that I don’t respond well to shenanigans.” He leaned down beside Steve and looped an arm around his torso and lifted him slowly to his feet. “So if you just do your job here and let me do mine we’re going to get along just fine and you’ll be out of here that much quicker.”

“I’m not getting out of this am I?” Steve muttered as Jason lifted his legs and slid them onto the bed.

“Not on my watch. So I would suggest that you just settle in and let me look after you.” 

“Fine.” Steve glared, his gaze swung around the room. “I’ll stay here and I’ll play nice.”

“Finally, the man shows some sense.” Danny stated from across the room with a grin.

“You two can come back tomorrow morning. I’ll make sure your big guy stays here overnight.” Joseph advised them.

“We’re staying.” Danny shook his head.

“No, you’re leaving.” Joseph responded, standing tall and folding his arms over his chest. “When I come back and replace his IV I’m going to be giving him a hit of the good stuff, he’s going to sleep through the night and no offence but you both look like you could use some serious sleep.”

“I promised Steve I’d be here when he woke up.” Cath moved to the side of Steve’s bed.

“And you were, but he’s going to be asleep all night, so you can come back in the morning.” Joseph reiterated.

“I’m fine. Go get some rest.” Steve nodded as he relaxed against his pillows.

“I’m going to go and get his medication, when I get back I will expect you to both be gone.” Joseph walked past Danny and out of the room.

Cath put her hand on Steve’s forehead and leaned in to press a soft kiss to Steve’s lips. “I’ll be here in the morning, breakfast time, I’ll bring you some clothes.”

“Don’t rush, it looks like I’m stuck here for the duration.” Steve shrugged painfully.

“I’ll be here in the morning.” She reaffirmed, kissing him again before she straightened and walked away from the side of the bed. 

Danny took her place and took his friends hand. “Do you need anything else?” 

“Just my phone.” Steve frowned and I don’t know what happened to my badge…or my weapons.”

“Chin took them all back to the office and secured them. The salt water did a number on your phone so he’s going to fix that for you by morning.”

“Thanks Danny.” Steve closed his eyes wearily.

“We’ll be back in the morning, get some sleep.” Danny squeezed Steve’s fingers before he started to move away from the bed.

“D?” Steve called him back to his bedside, and gestured for him to lean down closer so he could speak to him in relative privacy.

“What’s up, babe?” Danny frowned.

“Can you stay at my place please? Look after Cath for me?” he murmured softly “She’s been…fragile since we lost Billy. Nightmares and other… stuff. Look after her for me?”

“Anything babe. You know that. Consider it done.” Danny laid a hand on Steve’s shoulder clasping it in a show of solidarity and moved away from the bed as Joseph returned to the room, carrying a prepared syringe laying in a kidney dish.

As they walked down the corridor Danny watched his companion carefully. She had folded her arms around herself and he could see the gooseflesh on her arms. Now that she had no real purpose she was floundering against the weight of her own self recriminations and concern for her lover.

“Would you mind if I stayed at Casa McGarrett tonight?” he asked lightly.

“No.” Cath answered, turning a bright if somewhat watery smile on him. “Not at all.”

“Thank you.” Danny cleared his throat, “Can I make a suggestion?”

“What’s on your mind?” 

“Since we’re both coming back here in the morning, and Gracie is always at me about trying to do my own little bit to save the environment, why don’t we leave your car in the parking lot overnight and just take mine home. That way in the morning I can drive you here, check up on the big lug and then head off to work.”

“I know what you’re trying to do, Detective Williams.” She scolded him as they pushed open the front doors and stepped out into the night, the parking lot lit more by the moon than the lighting. 

“What? Offer my knightly assistance to a beautiful damsel in distress?” he laughed lightly.

“This damsel in distress could probably kick your ass if she needed to.” Cath playfully punched him in the arm. “He told you to look after me didn’t he?”

“So what if he did. We’re family. Family looks out for each other. Especially when some of us are struggling. Even if it’s only a little.”

“Thanks, Danny.” Cath threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. 

Danny hesitated for a long moment and then closed his arms around her and pulled her tight against his body, hugging her tightly.

“What say we pick up a pizza on the way home and a case of beer and relax when we get home?” Danny suggested as he pulled out of the embrace.

“Sounds like a perfect plan.” She smiled at him as they started walking towards the Camaro, “I don’t suppose you have a game we can watch do you?”

“You really are the perfect woman aren’t you?” he asked rhetorically as he opened the car door for her to slide into the passenger seat.


	2. Chapter 2

Pulling the Camaro into the driveway, Danny leaned back in the seat and watched his companion. They had made two stops after they had left the hospital. The first stop had been at a convenience store to pick up a case of beer and the second at Danny’s favourite pizza shop on the island. Cath had drifted off into a peaceful sleep not long after they had picked up the pizzas. He had actually taken the long way back to the house just so the throaty rumble of the car and its gentle motion as it traversed the deserted streets would keep her sleeping for as long as he could. He was fairly certain that as soon as they made it inside and ate sleep was going to be the farthest thing from her mind.  


She and Steve really were a well matched pair. Not only were they both stupidly attractive, but both of them had such a strong sense of honor and more than one individuals share of survivors guilt mixed with a unhealthy dose of PTSD. Sure she hadn’t done the things that Steve had, but she had her own demons that came from her service. He’d spent enough nights sleeping on Steve’s sofa to know that he rarely slept the full night through. He wasn’t stupid, he heard the pacing, he heard the tossing and turning, he was fully cognizant of the nights that Steve left the house long before dawn to pound the streets until it was light enough for his daily early morning swim to China. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Cath was exactly the same. This sailor wasn’t falling far from her ship.

He slipped quietly out of the car and lifted the pizza and beer from the trunk before trotting up to the house and leaving them on the coffee table. Returning to the car he carefully opened the passenger door and knelt beside the car.

“Cath?” he murmured as he placed a hand on her arm and shook her gently.

“Danny?” she mumbled in confusion, “What?” she shook her head trying to get her bearings, her sleepy eyes scanning past Danny’s shoulder.

“We’re home, babe, time to eat and try to get some sleep.”

He waited while she clumsily unfastened her seat belt and stepped out of the car. Danny closed the door behind her and pressed the key fob to lock the doors. Turning back to the house, he was startled by the shard of lust that ran through his body as he looked at her. Cath had taken the time he was securing the car to stretch out her exhausted body, her legs shoulder width apart, and her arms were extended high over her head as she pushed them high, the motion pulling her shirt up to bare her golden brown midriff and stretching it taut across her perfect breasts. The slight chill in the late evening air had hardened her nipples, Danny had to tear his eyes away from the sight of them peeking through the thin fabric of her tee shirt. 

Her eyes still clouded with sleepy confusion Cath looked at him as he stood there stupidly watching her stretch.

“You okay, Danny?” she asked, moving closer to put a warm hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine, just tired.” He responded as he walked up the path to the door the heat of her hand still on his shoulder long after it was physically gone.

“You should get some sleep.” She smiled as she passed him, preceding him through the door and settled on the sofa, her long legs folded under her as she watched him close the door and follow her.

“I thought you promised me pizza and a game?” Danny grinned and liberating two bottles from the case he uncapped one and presented it to Cath with a flourish. “Milady.”

Cath took the bottle from him and took a long swig before she looked at him an odd expression on her face. Uncomfortable with the unaccountably fond expression as it lingered on him, Danny took a long pull from his own bottle before spreading his arms wide and asking “What? I can’t have pizza on my face. We haven’t eaten yet.”

She shook her head and looked down at her hands. “You’re such a good friend, Danny. To both of us. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you.”

Danny sank onto the sofa beside her, close enough for comfort but far enough apart that he couldn’t feel her body heat next to him. His brow furrowed as he considered that thought. He was confused, never once before had he felt such an attraction to his best friend’s lover, it was inexplicable and if he was completely truthful with himself, disconcerting and more than a little uncomfortable. It really had been too long since he’d been laid if he was lusting after his partner’s girlfriend.

“You’re both worth it.” He murmured as he leaned into the corner of the sofa and relaxed a little. Cath looked at him for long minutes before she grabbed the remote from the coffee table and in one fluid movement turned the television on, flipped the pizza box open and pulled a slice out before she let herself relax.

They watched the late night infomercials in silence save only for the sounds of them devouring their pizza, Danny had almost forgotten the sudden swell of desire until he heard what sounded like a sniffle from the other end of the sofa. Sure enough, when he glanced at his thus far silent companion, the blue glow of the television screen reflected in big fat tears that trickled down her pale cheeks.

He sat motionless for a few long moments before he internally cursed at himself and slid closer to her on the sofa, slinging one arm gently around her waist and pulling her unresisting against his body.

“C’mon babe. Tell Uncle Danny. What’s wrong?” he murmured against the top of her head as she snuggled into him, her silent tears turning rapidly into big snuffling sobs.  
Turning towards her he let her cry, one hand cupping the back of her head against his shoulder, the other gently stroking her back until her sobbing subsided. 

“That feel better out than in?” he murmured against her hair.

She nodded her head, before pushing deeper into the comfort of his embrace.

“You know just because he is, YOU don’t have to be the big stoic sailor all the time.”

“I’m not a sailor anymore, Danny.” She pulled back to lean into the corner of the sofa and look at her clenched hands.

Danny reached out and took her fists into his hands, stroking her knuckles gently trying to release the tension he could feel in them. “And that is the crux of the problem isn’t it?”  
“Pretty much.” She nodded sadly and pulled one of her hands back to scrub at the tear stains on her face.

“You’ll find your niche, Cath.” Danny spoke slowly. “Change terrifies all of us but eventually you’ll find a new place for yourself. You’ve just got to work on not unravelling in the meantime.” Danny chuckled amusement filling his voice. “Granted SuperSEAL makes it hard not to unravel at any given time, but this one is just an aberration, he’ll be blowing the island up again after tomorrow.”

“He loves you, you know.” Cath murmured, reaching a hand out to brush a lock of hair back from Danny’s forehead.

“Not in the same way he loves you.” Danny murmured reaching up to catch her hand and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles.

“No, you’re wrong Danny.” She whispered. “I know, I see it in his eyes.’

“Ssh.” Danny pulled himself to his feet and extended a hand to Cath. “You’re tired. Time for you to get some sleep. Things will all feel better in the morning.”  
“I don’t think so, Danny. Things need to change.” Cath pulled him into a hug. “I don’t know what he’d do if he ever lost you.”

“I do, he’s got you.” Danny answered against her hair. 

“You don’t get it, Danny.” She frowned. 

Danny looked into her earnest face, her beautiful brown eyes wide and filled with knowledge and in that instant he knew that she knew his secret. It didn’t matter how hard he had tried to hide his love for his partner, his partner’s girlfriend had worked it out. 

“I’m so sorry, Catherine, you have to know that I’d never ever do anything. This is my problem, not yours and certainly not his.”

“Don’t apologise Danny. It’s not hard to love him.” She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Danny’s lips. “I’ll apologise in advance, I haven’t been sleeping well, I’m sorry if I wake you.”

Cath walked across the room and turned back to face him at the bottom of the stairs. “Thank you for everything, Danny.”

Danny nodded and watched her walk up the stairs and disappear into the bedroom he knew that she shared with Steve. As the door closed behind her he let out a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding. He fell back onto the sofa and ran his hands through his hair. Surreal didn’t even begin to describe this day. He felt that he had loved Steve for so long that it was just something that was part of him, but today of all days he suddenly decides to lust after Catherine. Catherine who was Steve’s partner and one of his closest friends, a woman who had until today just been one of the team and was now suddenly a beautiful, sexual being that he wanted like burning. 

Lifting the pizza box from the table he walked through to the kitchen and dropped it onto the centre island. Pulling a cold Longboard from the fridge he opened it and wandered through the dark rooms and through to the lanai. Kicking off his loafers, he padded barefoot down to the water’s edge. He stood for a long time, his toes scrunching into the coarse sand, watching the moonlight paint the crests of the wave silver. Taking a pull from the beer still in his hand, he turned and moved to sit in the Adirondack chair that Steve would normally sit in and sipped his beer letting the cool breeze off the ocean cool his skin and ruffle his hair.

He’d been sitting there for a little more than an hour and was just contemplating heading in to shower and try to catch at least a couple of hours sleep, before sunrise heralded the start of tomorrow. 

That’s when he heard it.

Just louder than the sounds of the gently lapping waves, he strained to hear the soft sounds again. Whimpering. Like a baby left too long awake in its crib. Or a puppy beaten and left for dead. Or the sounds of human emotions stretched to breaking point. 

His half empty beer bottle clattered to the ground as Danny almost upended the chair in his rush to get back into the house. He ran through the lower floor and took the stairs two at a time. He paused for a split second at the door, but the whimpering sobs were so much louder inside the house. Cath sounded like her heart was breaking. Pushing the door open, he slipped into the room. Cath was curled up in the middle of the large bed, one of Steve’s tee-shirts tangled around her body, her hair a wild nest around her face. Soft mewling sobs spilling unbidden from her mouth, her body twitching spasmodically as she struggled with whatever nightmare images that were playing inside her head.  


Danny slid onto the bed behind her, pausing just long enough to remind himself what a bad idea this was, then slid one arm around her and moulded himself to her back. His fingertips stroked her wrist, trying to loosen her tightly clenched fingers, all the while crooning soft meaningless words into her ear. Slowly Cath, relaxed against him, her body relaxing into the comfort it was unconsciously finding. 

Intending to get up and move to the sofa as soon as Cath was finally sleeping soundly again, exhausted, Danny didn’t last that long, before Cath was completely asleep Danny was snoring into her neck.

~@~@~@~

Danny woke slowly, a warm, damp breath blowing against his skin. A warm body wrapped enticingly around his own. His traitorous body was hard and throbbing and rolling against the warm curves, desperately seeking the satisfaction that was so close. His hand stroked unconsciously across a warm, feminine hip. Feminine. Danny’s eyes snapped open. It had been a long time since he’d willingly been in a bed with a woman. Since Rachel. Not because he hadn’t wanted to, he was equal opportunity, but Steve had been consuming his thoughts and his desires for so long that no-one was as appealing to him as the big lug that was his partner. But now this. His body was betraying him. Cath was so damned warm and inviting. They were twined together, her leg thrown over his body, her moist heat rubbing against his thigh, her head on the same pillow his rested on. 

Unable to stop himself he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against her soft lips as she lay beside him. Just one tiny kiss, while she slept in his arms. Slake his thirst and remove the need for temptation. She was Steve’s partner for fuck’s sake and if Danny couldn’t have Steve for himself he wanted to see him happy. Cath made him happy.  
As his lips touched Cath’s he knew he’d made the biggest tactical mistake of his life. Her mouth opened under the gentle onslaught of his. Her soft lush lips moulded themselves to his as she returned his kiss as she was drawn back into consciousness. Danny rolled towards her, pulling her closer to him and stroking his hands down her back, stopping as he cupped her pert rounded buttocks and fitted her against his body. His eyes closed as he pushed his tongue into her mouth, tasting her as her tongue twined with his, her breathy sigh like an angel’s breath against his skin. His hips thrust against her as he released her lips and let his mouth trail down her neck.

“Danny.” She moaned, her hands pulling Danny closer as she did. “We need to stop.”

“I know.” Danny responded, “I know,” his mouth trailed across the soft white fabric of Steve’s tee shirt, his teeth finding Cath’s hard nipple and tugging.

“Stop, Danny.” Cath clasped his head in her hands and pulled him back towards her head. “We can’t do this.”

Danny looked into her eyes, blown with want, a tiny sliver of molten brown and rested his head against her forehead. Both of them were breathing heavily, hot, moist breath shared between them as they struggled to rein in their passion, unable to stop the tiny involuntary thrusts of their hips into each other. “I’m sorry.” Danny breathed hoarsely. “It’s my fault.”

“It’s as much my fault as yours.” Cath released her hold on him as he rolled off her to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I fell asleep here last night. I meant to leave as soon as you were asleep.” Danny rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands.

“It’s not your fault, Danny.” Cath murmured as she rolled in the bed to sit behind him, her hand gently stroking his back. “It’s happened now; we just need to make sure it never happens again. We can do that right?”

“Sure.” Danny spoke without turning to look at her. “I’m going to go and shower, and as soon as you are ready we can go and pick up your man.”

Cath waited until he was about to walk through the bedroom door and called him.

“Danny, stop.” She called plaintively.

Danny stopped at the door, his hands jammed in his pockets and turned to look at her.

“Thank you.” She murmured. “For everything.”

Danny stood there in silence for a few moments, his eyes searching Cath’s face before he spoke again. “If we can’t look out for each other, how can we look out for him.”

Cath looked into Danny’s eyes and nodded, tears welling in her eyes her bottom lip trembling as she struggled with her emotions.

Danny turned and walked out of the room before he gave in to the urge to go back to her, fold her in his arms and protect her until Steve could do it himself.

They were ready to leave just over thirty minutes later, both of them carefully avoided touching as they made coffee and left. Walking through the hospital corridors they were a respectful distance apart, close enough to be considered in the others company but far enough apart that they would not touch again – or be tempted.

Cath preceded Danny into Steve’s room, her face breaking into a bright open smile when she saw him sitting up on the edge of the bed, poking listlessly at the ‘tasty’ hospital breakfast in front of him.

“Cath.” He smiled as he saw her.

“Bought you some clothes big guy.” She dropped the bag she was carrying on the end of the bed and leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. “How do you feel?”

“Sore.” He shrugged, “But more than ready to be sprung.”

“That’s what we’re here for.” Cath smiled, brushing his short hair back from his forehead.

“We? Danny came too?” Steve turned to look at the door.

“Yeah, he stopped at the nurses’ station.” Cath nodded, moving to sit in the chair beside the bed.

“Did you sleep?” Steve looked at her closely.

“Yes.” Cath nodded quickly.

“Don’t lie to me Catherine.” Steve spoke quickly and paused as if he was choosing his words carefully. “I know you haven’t slept through the night since Billy.”

“You’re right, I’m not sleeping through the night. I have bad dreams, but we all have dreams, Steve, these will pass.”

“I know.” Steve extended a hand to her and waited until she took it, lacing his fingers with hers. “But it doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about you suffering.” He smiled sadly at her, “Especially if I’m not there to help.”

“Hey!” she exclaimed, “That implies that I’m a shrinking violet that needs protecting.”

“I didn’t say that,” Steve shrugged, “You have held me through enough dreams. Turnabout is fairplay. We all need help sometimes.”

“Are you listening to yourself, Rambo?” Danny stated as he walked through the door and stopped at the bottom of the bed.

“Told you before, Danno….” Steve turned a fond smile on him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Danny grinned as he interrupted and stopped close enough to put a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Rambo was Army. I know. Same crazy: different uniform, Dude.”

“I think I resent that statement, Danny.” Cath laughed.

“No I really think you both resemble that statement.”

“So what’s the report, Danny?” Steve asked.

“Nurse Joseph says that you are clear to go.” Danny grinned. “As soon as you’ve had breakfast and have clothes they are going to let you go. Something about being a pain in their ass and wanting to get rid of you before you get into any more trouble.”

“I haven’t been trouble.” Steve frowned. “I slept until they brought breakfast in.”

“I’m sure he’s joking, Steve.” Cath frowned at Danny.

“Great, spoil all my fun.” Danny mock pouted. “I’ll be off to the office. Cath can take you home and I’ll pop by after work.”

“I’ve got a better idea Danny.” Steve commanded. “Cath can go do whatever Cath does and you can take me to work.”

“You my friend have a week of rest.” Danny spluttered, “Doctors orders.”

“I’m perfectly fine.” Steve stated as he slid off the bed, unable to hide the wince as he straightened. 

“Yeah it really looks like it.” Danny shook his head. “Give it up, you’re not going to win. Just go home with Cath and let her nurse you for the week.”

“Really you’re not going to win.” Cath nodded as she stood and rubbed his shoulder consolingly.

“Fine.” Steve ground out. “But if something big drops at work I need you to let me know, and let me decide if I’m good to go.”

“Yeah, Yeah I know balls of steel and all that.” Danny waved as he turned and walked out the door.

~@~@~@~

For three weeks Danny struggled with his newfound hunger for Catherine and what it meant to his friendship with Steve. In the future he might look back and realise that it was actually Steve who was the catalyst for all the insanity that seemed to follow him, this was just the icing on the crazy cake.

Steve was barely healed, he was still walking with a slight limp and Danny knew that his back was still a problem for him, but he also knew that look of determination on his face when Steve came into his office and sank achingly into his sofa.

“This isn’t going to make me happy is it?” Danny spoke as calmly as he could.

“Probably not.” Steve shrugged.

Danny threw his pen onto the table, and swivelled his chair back to look at Steve closely. He was clearly in some pain, and his eyes were, if Danny had to choose a word, would say haunted. Suddenly it was clear to Danny.

“This is about your mother isn’t it?” Danny stated flatly.

“It is.” Steve nodded.

“Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pull out the dental pliers?” Danny asked lifting one eyebrow in question. 

“Dental pliers?” Steve asked his eyes wide.

“Yeah I keep them in the bottom drawer for stubborn conversations with you.” Danny deadpanned. “Don’t change the subject.”

“Joe thinks he has a lead on Doris and…” Steve started to explain and then trailed off.

“Joe? The same Joe who practically begged me to lie to you so you would leave your CIA spy mother alone? That Joe?”

“Yes that Joe. Danny. You aren’t making this easy.”

“I’m glad about that. Whatever harebrained catch and release scheme that bozo has lined up for you to perpetrate I’m not going to make easy for you.” 

“Well I’d hate for you to change your MO this late in the game, Danno.” Steve murmured leaning back in the sofa, as if this was the hardest thing in the world for him to do.  
“Just spit it out Steven, I’m not going to like it so you may as well stop dancing around it.” Danny rested his elbows on the table.

“I’m leaving.” Steve said, his voice flat and filled with remorse.

“Like fuck you are, you are still injured and correct me if I’m wrong every single time you’re off on one of Joe’s flights of idiocy you are either injured or come home with another crazy ass relative that none of us need, least of all you.” Danny started to rant, windmilling his arms wildly.

“I’m going, Danny.” Steve stated. “Nothing you can say is going to stop me.” He tilted his head back to rest against the back of the sofa wearily. “I need to ask a favour.”

“No.” Danny stated flatly, standing he began to pace back and forth in his office. “Whatever it is, no. stay here and do it yourself. I’m not going to be your patsy while you’re off getting your fool ass killed.”

“I’m just going to find my mother Danny, not trying out the firing squad.” Steve laughed without mirth.

“I’m sorry Steven, but I’ve heard that particular tune a couple of times before, forgive me if I’m not dancing to it.”

Steve stood and stalked to the door. “Dammit Danny. I don’t want to go. Are you happy? I don’t want to but I need to. I just need this all over and done with. But I’m worried about Cath. I can either go and know you will be looking out for her for me. Or I can go and be worried about her and make stupid mistakes because I’m distracted. That’s your call.” He opened the door and left Danny’s office without another word.

Danny was on his feet and charging after Steve before he’d even realised what he was doing. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? If you don’t come home you’re going to blame me for any stupid shit you are planning on doing?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Certainly sounded like.” 

Steve fisted his hands on his hips. “I know I’m being a pain in the ass, I get that okay. I just need you to do this one last thing for me.”

Danny took a deep breath at the finality of Steve’s words and the way they sliced a wedge through his heart. “Promise me you will come home.” He said finally, looking into Steve’s face.

“You know I can’t do that.” Steve looked piteously at Danny.

“Then promise me what you can.” Danny answered stepping closer to him. Pushing himself into Steve’s personal space he pressed a hand against his chest. “If you make me a promise for whatever you know is achievable for you, and I’ll watch over Cath for as long as you need me to.”

“I’m worried about her, Danny, I’ve been where she is and I barely made it back, I don’t want that to happen to her.” 

“I know. She’s hurting, and to be honest, this isn’t going to help her at all.” Danny let his hand absorb the warmth of Steve’s chest as he spoke.

“You think I don’t know that?” Steve moved back to sit on the edge of his desk. “I don’t want to leave her, or you for that matter. You are both the most important people in my world. You have to know that.”

“If I beg, will you stay.” Danny asked quietly, not daring to look at Steve’s face.

“Please don’t do that, D.” Steve spoke softly lifting one hand to cover Danny’s on his chest. “I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this stuff with my family. I have to finish it so that I can move forward.” He paused, his tongue darting out to lick at his lips. “I don’t know if I can do it if you ask me to stay.” 

“I know. God I understand just how much you need to put this all behind you, but every time you leave the country it’s like we have to hold our breath and hope that you’ll come back alive.” Danny leaned forward and tilted his head to look into Steve’s downcast eyes. “We can’t deal with having you become another Freddie.”

Steve closed his eyes and sucked in a deep shuddering breath. Danny wondered if maybe he had pushed too hard. When Steve opened his eyes they were glazed with unshed tears.

“I’m coming home, Danno.” He pulled his partner into a tight hug. “I’ve got too much to lose here.” He murmured into Danny’s hair.

Danny frowned at the words but didn’t push the point any further, tightening his hold on Steve for a brief moment before he pulled away and took a step back, more for his own sanity than for proprieties sake.

“When are you leaving?” Danny asked.

“Two hours, I just have time to get home and grab some gear and I was hoping you could drive me to the airport.”

“Anytime. When are you telling Cath?” Danny flopped onto the sofa watching as Steve started to collect up loose papers on his desk and slip them into his laptop bag.

“She’s on a flight back from visiting her parents.” Steve started to explain.

“You aren’t going to tell her are you?” Danny leaned forward on the sofa and watched him carefully.

“I’ve already left a message on her phone, and I’ve got a note written that I’m leaving at home for her.” 

“You can’t leave her a note.” Danny stood again, jamming his hands into his pockets. “That will break her heart. She loves you babe.”

“I know that Danny. Better than you obviously think.” Steve straightened, his tone filled with anger.

“You don’t think that it’s going to hurt her if you just leave her a letter.” Danny growled. “It hurt me and you’re not fucking me.”

Steve was silent for a long moment before he slammed the drawer he had been burrowing in closed. “What the fuck do you want me to do, Danny? She’s not here and I have to go. There isn’t much else I can do.”

Danny sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know babe.” He walked across to the door, “C’mon I’ll take you home.”

They walked silently down to the Camaro, Steve not even flinching when Danny slid into the driver’s seat. The drive to Piikoi Street was silent and thankfully short. When he pulled into the long drive, Danny parked and turned to look at Steve.

“Leave the letter with me. I’ll collect her when her plane lands and make sure that she’s not alone.”

“I’m sorry, Danny.” Steve spoke, “I didn’t mean to put all this on you.”

“Just make sure you keep yourself safe and I’ll make sure we’re both okay when you get home.”

Steve held Danny’s gaze and nodded. Opening his door he slid one leg out of the car.

“Go on Babe.” Danny urged him, “Get your gear and I’ll wait here.”

“Thanks.” Steve nodded and loped up the pathway into the house. 

“May as well get this over with as quick as we can.” Danny muttered as he watched Steve disappear into the house.

Steve returned to the car within minutes, confirming Danny’s suspicion that Steve keeps a go bag hidden somewhere in Casa McGarrett. There wasn’t much they could say that hadn’t already been said, but where the drive to the house had been tense and uncomfortable, the drive to the airport had a much different mood. They were about halfway to the airport when Steve reached across from the passenger seat to where Danny’s hand was resting on the centre console and caught it in his own.

Danny’s breath caught in his throat as he turned his hand over and let Steve lace their fingers together. This was the first time that Steve had acted on the attraction that had been zinging between them for four long years. Danny knew that Steve felt it just as much as he did and aside from the outrageous flirting that they were both guilty of perpetuating neither of them had acknowledged it. But Steve had always had Catherine and well he himself had always had someone in the background, first Rachel and then Gabby. Danny had never imagined that Steve would act on their own attraction; he had always been grade A heterosexual male, why would he act on this, regardless of the fact that Danny was stupidly in love with him. This gesture, he couldn’t quite understand why it was happening now, so much about the whole situation was wrong, but he couldn’t bring himself to deny either of them. Especially since Steve had rested his head back against the headrest and appeared to be relaxed if not actually dozing. Danny would work on whatever retribution he needed to exact with the Cosmos tomorrow but if tonight holding hands with his partner could at least give Steve a tiny bit of comfort Danny was going to pay that debt and not be sorry in the least.

At the airport, Danny parked in an official vehicle space and after parking reached over with his left hand to engage the park brake.

“We there?” Steve asked softly without opening his eyes, his thumb tracing circles on the back of Danny’s knuckle.

“Yeah, are you sure I can’t talk you out of going?” Danny turned a little in his seat resting his head on his headrest and looking at Steve.

“It doesn’t matter how much I don’t want to do this, D.” Steve spoke, turning his head and opening his eyes, looking directly into Danny’s face. “I need to get this sorted and out of my life. I can’t go forward until I clean out the past.”

“I know babe.” Danny nodded. For all his passionate arguments for Steve not to go, he really did understand and knew that nothing would be over until Steve got the answers he needed. Although that absolutely did not mean that he had to be happy about it.

“Look after Cath?” Steve asked a final time as he slowly pulled his hand from Danny’s grasp and opened the door.

“Like she was my own.” Danny nodded, mentally wincing at his choice of words. “Want me to come with?”

Steve shook his head and reached out a hand to cup the side of Danny’s head, his fingers gently caressing the soft hair he touched  
.  
“Be careful.” Danny whispered, before he reached up to grip Steve’s strong hand and pressed a quick kiss to his palm. “I’m not there to watch your six.”

Steve pulled his hand back his eyes wide and lifted his hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to his own palm, almost as if he was tasting Danny’s kiss. In the space of a heartbeat, Steve was out of the car, his door closing silently behind him. Before Danny had even broken out of the oddly sensual haze that had enveloped him, Steve had lifted his bag from the trunk and had disappeared into the airport.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when you thought you had a handle on things, someone goes and changes the rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's het relationship in this one so if that's not your thing please avert your eyes.

Cath’s plane was due to land less than an hour later so Danny climbed out of the car and walked into the airport. Clearing security he wandered from gate to gate, not even noticing his surroundings for most of that time, watching each plane take off through the large plate windows, wondering if that plane was the one that was taking Steve away from them and into harm’s way. Eventually he shook off the odd sense of melancholy that had fallen over him with Steve’s departure and checking the arrivals board first, he found his way to Cath’s gate.

She was one of the last off the plane. He noticed her walking up the air bridge, her head down as she followed the other passengers, a jaunty fedora sitting lopsided on her beautiful head. He couldn’t help but be a little hurt when she looked up and a flash of disappointment crossed her smiling face. He’d forgive her for that because, fuck, he’d be disappointed if he’d arrived home expecting Steve and got him as a consolation prize.

“Danny?” she frowned as she walked towards him. “Steve was supposed to pick me up.”

“Yeah. About that.” He murmured, he leaned into her hug and kissed her chastely on the side of the face. They had both been very careful about spending time alone together since the last incident. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust themselves, but, it was prudent for them not to put temptation directly in their path. It wasn’t even something they had spoken about, but just something that had naturally happened between them.

“Is he okay? He’s not hurt is he?” She asked quickly.

“No, honey,” Danny stated firmly, “He’s fine, healthy as a horse.”

“Then what is it?” she frowned.

He lifted a hand to rub his thumb on the small creases her concern for Steve was creating on her forehead.

“I suggest that we go home, get a case of beer, maybe even a bottle of tequila on the way and talk about this.”

“You’re worrying me Danny.” She gnawed at her bottom lip with her teeth and it was all Danny could do not to drag her into his arms and kiss the concern from her edible, glossy lips.

“It’s nothing.” Danny shook his head and lifted her carryon bag from the ground beside them so they could start the walk to the car. “Really, it’s just that he’s gone off chasing Doris around the world again.”

“Fuck…Because that has worked so well for him so many times before.” Cath sighed, falling into step beside Danny.

“Yeah, well what can we do, she is his mother. Despite the fact that she is a lousy mother, he still loves her. Besides which, you know that no matter what he’s not going to stop until he has all the answers. She’s apparently the one that has them all.”

“But she’s not going to ever give them up.” Cath stated.

“You know that and I know that, but I’m afraid it’s going to take a few more bricks to the head before our boy realises that.” Danny chuckled mirthlessly.

“So, why couldn’t he tell me this himself?” Cath frowned.

“He’s currently on a plane, winging his way to God knows where, he’s got a lead on her that was time sensitive from Joe.”

“This just keeps getting better and better.” Cath growled as they reached the side of the Camaro.

“I know, and oddly enough, I think he does too.” Danny stated as he threw Cath’s bag into the trunk of the car. “Lt? Want to come and get shit faced drunk with me?” He smiled over the top of the car at her.

“I’d be delighted, Detective.” She grinned back at him.

~@~@~@~

That should have been where the tiny Robot in Danny’s head should have started flapping his arms and spinning, wildly chanting ‘Danger Danny Williams, Danger’. Really it should have. Or the fact that they had essentially been avoiding each other since the one sinfully delicious kiss ‘episode’ that had provided masturbatory ablutions material for him ever since. Well at least on the alternate days when he wasn’t pining for the washboard abs and more than adequate less flashed parts of his partner’s anatomy. Danny had barely mastered the art of not desiring the beautiful woman who sat with him, matching him shot for shot while he was sober, but now that they were both six shots down and loose limbed and even looser lipped he had almost given away all pretense.

“I hate that he does this to you.” Danny spoke as he poured two more shots of tequila and handed one glass to Cath then lay back against the sofa, the top of his head rubbing against hers as they sprawled there.

“I hate that he does it to you.” Cath shrugged with a sad giggle, “I’m used to it, you know that I’m seeing him more now than I did when we were both active.” She pressed the shot glass to her lips and tilted her head back quickly, swallowing the fiery liquid in one quick wincing movement. “Damn.” She shook her head to clear the taste and pursing her lips at the flavour as it lingered on her palate.

“What do you mean?” Danny turned his head to look at her face and instantly regretted the movement. A droplet of tequila hung on Cath’s bottom lip, each breath shaking it a little closer to losing its tenuous grip until it cascaded in a tiny stream down her chin. All the blood in his head drained south and he struggled not to moan as he followed the movement with his eyes. He burned with the need to lean in across the six inches between them and lick the fluid from her skin and his current path to inebriation was inhibiting his own ability to stop himself from doing something he was sure he would regret.

“’bout what?” Cath looked at him, her eyes myopically unfocussed as she watched him.

“What he does to me?” Danny prompted, his lips barely moving as his attention was riveted to Cath’s tongue, peeking between her lips to catch the errant drop of tequila.  
“I’ve seen you two.” Cath sighed, “You’re like kindling together, just waiting for a spark to catch and incinerate you both.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Danny rolled his head back to look at the roof, not sure if he could hide his feelings for Steve if they were actually speaking about them.

“I’m not stupid, Danny.” She let her head drop down onto his shoulder, her hand reaching across to rub gently at his chest, feeling the way his heart was pounding a staccato beat inside his chest. “I don’t blame you. Honestly. I’ve always known the score with Steve. I’ll always be missing something that he really needs. I think he had it with Billy and I know he had it with Freddie, I was never sure about Nick but maybe. You, however, you’re different to all of us.”

“You’re full of shit, Rollins.” Danny huffed, trying desperately to alleviate the direction the conversation was heading.

“No, I’m not. I know Steve. I’ve known him since we were both Cadets. You’re his rock, Danny.”

“Again. Respectfully. You’re full of shit.”

“You’re the air that he breathes, Danny.” Cath turned her face as she spoke, her breath blowing warm and enticing against his neck. “It kills him that you’re straight, but you’re not are you?”

Danny turned his head to look at her, unable to decide if he was indignant or relieved at her question and all he could see was her slightly unfocussed eyes and her moist pouty lips.

“You of all people should know the answer to that.” Danny spoke his voice hoarse.

“I know you kiss like fire burning, but I also see things, Danny.” She murmured, each word breathed against his lips, “I know that I have what you want, but I also know that I’ll never be enough for him.”

“That’s the tequila talking.” Danny almost whimpered, his tongue flicked out to wet his suddenly dry lips and innocently connected with Cath’s bottom lip. 

“Tell me you don’t want him.” Cath demanded breathily, the hand that was laying on his chest, moving to caress his skin, her fingertips sliding under the buttons and brushing across his furred chest as she watched his face.

“Are you serious?” Danny responded, one hand flailing in the air wildly. “How could you look at him and not want him.”

“Honey, are you trying to convince me or yourself?” she muttered, moving her head to rest on the back of the sofa as she watched a myriad of expressions wash over Danny’s face before he tilted over to face her.

“Am I that obvious?” His eyes betrayed his nerves as he searched her face carefully.

“To everyone but him.” She answered honestly, “But you don’t have to worry, he’s even worse than you.”

“It doesn’t matter what way he does or doesn’t swing, I won’t be responsible for ruining his career.” Danny answered with a shake of his head, and his hand moved to capture Cath’s hand. She had unfastened one button and her hand slid inside his shirt, her soft fingers now brushing absently across Danny’s nipple. Which apparently was hard wired directly to his dick. It had been so long since he’d been touched by hands other than his own that if he didn’t stop the sensations sooner rather than later he was going to come in his pants like a horny teenager.

“DADT is long gone, Danny.” Cath sighed as she sat forward and poured them both another shot of the fiery liquid.

“What and you think that stops the homophobic assholes that will have a score to settle because he’s not straight up all American hetero Man?” Danny sat forward, closing his eyes and struggling to control his body as the movement put even more pressure on his insistent erection.

Leaning forward to fill their glasses, she handed him his glass, then Cath tilted her head back and swallowed the contents of her own glass. She blinked back the tears that gathered on her lashes at the feisty sting of the alcohol as it trickled down her throat. Before she could think about it again, she tilted the bottle and poured another measure into her glass.

Danny’s eyes narrowed as he watched her drink. Until now he’d been convinced that she was just upset that her boyfriend was placing himself in danger, but right now, this very instant he decided that there was something else afoot here. There was an undercurrent that he wasn’t quite picking up on, whether it was the drinks or just the fact that he was romantically out of practise, he wasn’t sure.

“Cath, are you alright?” he asked, pressing a hand to her back and rubbing calming circles against the cotton covered flesh.

“Of course, I’m fine.” She nodded, she flicked her hair back over her shoulder.

“Then why do I think I’m missing something?”

“It’s not important Danny.” She turned to look at him, tears hanging heavy on her lashes. “Really.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Danny smiled.

“Can’t a girl have any secrets?” Cath grinned at him, her lips quivering as she struggled to maintain her flirty composure. “I’m going to go up to bed. See you in the morning.” Cath stood and almost ran from the room, only her meandering gait giving any indication that she wasn’t completely sober.

Danny stared after her, his mind clouded enough that he couldn’t quite work out what had just happened, but not so clouded that he knew following her wasn’t a good idea. Confused he lay down on the sofa, intending to gather his thoughts and see if he could work out what went wrong. He frowned as the sofa crinkled underneath him. He reached behind him and came up with a handful of crumpled Five 0 letterhead.

In that instant, Cath’s behaviour suddenly made sense. Glancing up at the closed bedroom door he thought about respecting Cath’s privacy for all of a millisecond and then unfolded the crushed paper.

“Dear Catherine, he read, I know this has been a long time coming, and I’m sorry that I’m doing this in a letter, but I suspect that it might be more comfortable for the both of us this way. I want you to find someone else. You’re wasting your life on me, and I don’t think that is fair to you. I want you to find someone who can be the man you need. 

I love you, and I always will, but I’m in love with someone else. I’m not leaving you for that person. I can never have them, but it’s not fair to you to keep you waiting for me to be the man that you need. I know there is someone else who is interested in you, someone who will never act on that attraction while you are my girlfriend. Please, don’t worry about me, let him in, let him make you happy.

I’ll always love you Catherine, but you deserve more than me and much, much more than I can ever give you.

When I get home, we’ll talk, if you can still stand to be near me.

Love always, Steve."

Danny threw the letter onto the table and flopped back onto the sofa. Of all the fucked up things he had to do, Steve knew that Cath was still broken over her part in Billy’s death, and he goes and sends her a Dear John letter right before he goes off to an uncertain future. Regardless of how selfless his intentions may have been it was wrong and Danny was going to kick his ass when he got home. Besides which, he was furious with Steve for discounting them before they had even spoken properly about their relationship. The future was not wholly Steve’s to dictate and for some reason that pissed Danny off far more than was technically reasonable. In the space between two breaths Danny made a decision for how the rest of his night and maybe life would play out.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket he sent Steve a text ‘U + Home = words from me. Got it?’ before he dropped his phone onto the coffee table on top of the pizza box. Lifting the tequila bottle he took a long swig of courage fortification and made his way to the upstairs landing. Pausing briefly at the door, he considered knocking but knew that she would deny him entry. Closing the door behind him he let his eyes become accustomed to the soft moonlit light before he saw Cath on the bed, her clothes in a messy pile on the floor. She was curled into fetal position, dressed only in delicate red panties.

“Go away, Danny.” She muttered.

“I’m sorry he did that to you Cath.” Danny murmured as he slipped out of his shirt.

“Oh My God, you read it?” she clutched the pillow under her head tighter.

“I wanted to know what was wrong.” Danny shrugged as he toed off his loafers, “And you sure as hell weren’t going to willingly tell me.”

“Nothing’s wrong, my boyfriend dumped me that’s all.” She shrugged without turning back to look at him.

“Cath.” Danny spoke softly, unfastening his slacks and letting them fall to the floor as he climbed onto the bed. “He didn’t do that, he released you. There’s a difference.”

“Not from where I’m sitting.” Cath mumbled as Danny fitted himself behind her, his arm wrapping around her waist and his mouth nuzzling at her neck.

“Tell me you don’t want this.” Danny whispered against her skin, his fingertips tracing a path across her belly until his hand was cupping one pert breast, his thumb rolling slowly across her pebbled nipple.

“I’d have to be dead.” Cath sighed as she rolled onto her back. “Have you seen yourself?”

“Me? After you’ve had tall, dark and dangerous?”

“Honest to God you don’t look in the mirror do you?”

“Babe, nobody even looks at me when he’s in the room.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, in some ways you’re even more attractive than him.”

“I think you need new glasses.” Danny leaned in to kiss her softly, his lips sliding across hers wetly.

“Don’t need em, 20-20.”

“Of course just like him, completely fucking perfect.”

“Danny?” Cath asked uncertainly, her fingers trailing through his hair. “What about Steve?”

“He’s signed off on you and he clearly said that he can never have me.” Danny paused, licking a long wet trail across Cath’s neck, his stubble tracing across her delicate skin, making her whimper.

“We shouldn’t do this.” Cath exhaled even as she pressed his head closer to her breast.

“We should.” Danny paused to roll her nipple around his tongue. “He practically gave us his blessing.” He breathed before catching her nipple between his teeth and tugging on it slowly, laving the tip with his tongue as he did. “I want to;” Danny rolled his hips against Cath’s hip leaving her in no doubt of his involvement, “Don’t you?”

“Danny!” she whimpered as she rolled towards him, her fingers plucked at the whorls of hair on his chest, she lifted one leg and rested it across Danny’s hip, her foot pressing against Danny’s thigh and pulling them closer together. “Oh sweet Jesus, Yes.” She murmured.

Pushing Danny back against the bed, Cath rolled with him until she was straddling him, her silk covered crotch undulating slowly against the hot length of his cotton covered erection, her unfettered breasts bouncing with every movement. 

Danny moaned as her moist heat created an almost unbearable friction against his cock. His hands lifted to cup her breasts, his thumbs brushing across her nipples, the rough skin drawing a stuttering groan from Cath. She threw her head back, her hair cascading down her back as she moved against him.

Cath leaned forward to press a sloppy open mouthed kiss to Danny’s lips before she stood on the bed between Danny’s parted legs. Danny’s mouth went dry as he watched her shimmy out of her panties. A cheeky smile flashed across Cath’s face as she sinuously fell to her knees between Danny’s legs and trailed her fingers across the waistband of his serviceable white cotton boxers. Danny struggled to not push his hips up to her touch, his eyes transfixed on the tip of her tongue caught between her lips as she concentrated on her task.

Her fingertips rubbed against his cock, long slender digits dragging the rough cotton against his sensitive flesh.

“Cath, You’re killing me.” Danny groaned.

“Really, Danny?” she whispered, licking her lips wetly as she lifted the waistband of his boxers and carefully lifted them over his erection, sliding them low enough for the elastic to sit under his balls. Leaning forward, she lifted the heavy length of his cock in one hand and trailed her fingertips as delicately as an angel’s wings from the tip to the base.

Smiling up at Danny, she lowered her head, her pursed lips touching his tip in a chaste kiss, her eyes lifting to look up into his eyes. Danny struggled to maintain any control, garbled sounds tumbling from his lips. Cath opened her lips and let his cock slide into her mouth. Her tongue licked around the head, the point of her tongue stabbing into the tiny slit at his tip. Danny’s breath was strangled in his throat, electricity skittering down his spine, his balls tightening as he struggled to maintain any control. Cath’s fingers wrapped around his length and as her lips and tongue tortured him her fisted hand pumped him firmly.

“Cath.” He moaned brokenly, “Stop.”

“You don’t like it?” she pulled off, the slurping noise of her movement sounding obscene in the silence of the room.

“If you don’t stop it’s all going to be over, right now.” He wheezed as he struggled to regain control of his body.

“We can’t have that now can we?” Cath spoke, her voice husky. She slid up his body, straddling his hips and letting his thick cock rub against her. Reaching up she pressed her lips to his, letting her breasts swing between them, her sensitive nipples brushing against his furred chest. She couldn’t stop the moan that was swallowed in their kiss at the electric shocks that coursed through her at the contact.

Trailing her fingertips down his torso, she clasped his cock in her hand and slowly lowered herself onto him. Danny closed his eyes, his mouth fell open groaning as she enveloped him, not stopping until he was buried deep inside her. Cath breathed deeply against his mouth as she broke the kiss, rising until she was straddling Danny, her hands pressed against his pecs as she slowly lifted her hips until his cock was barely inside her and then slammed her hips back down. Over and over she moved, her skin flushed, her breath stuttering in and out of her with every shallow inhalation. Her fingertips twisting the hair on his chest as she rode him.

Danny’s hips slammed up into Cath, struggling to maintain any sort of control, desperate to last long enough for Cath to enjoy it too. Sliding one hand down her body he trailed the backs of his fingers across her stomach pausing for long enough to circle her navel with a fingertip before he dragged his thumb through the manicured thatch of hair. Delving into her slick folds, his thumb found her clit and scraped gently with his thumbnail.

Cath threw back her head and squealed her hips pushing forward harder as his thumb rubbed harder and faster. 

Both of them lost any grace they had as their bodies slammed into each other. Cath thrust herself against Danny, meeting his upward lunges both of them grunting and moaning. Danny held Cath’s hip with one hand the other frantically rubbing against her clit. Cath was the first to lose control, throwing her head back and squealing as her orgasm tore through her, her nails scratching red lines across his chest. Danny wasn’t far behind her, her body’s convulsions squeezing him past the final shards of his control and gripping her hips in a bruising hold he slammed up into two, three four final times before he collapsed bonelessly into the mattress.

Cath flicked her damp hair back over her shoulder and slumped forward to lay limply against Danny’s chest.

“That was just…” Danny spoke his voice trailing off as his fingertips traced lightly up and down Cath’s back.

“Yeah. It was.” Cath lifted her head to look into Danny’s face. “Just Wow.” She pressed a slow kiss to his lips before she nuzzled her head into Danny’s shoulder.

Danny rolled onto his side, pulling Cath tight against his body, looped in his arms, his fingertips trailing across the soft golden skin of her back. Cath’s breath on his next and her fingers trailing across the hair on his chest made him think about how they had gotten here. It didn’t matter how he rationalised it, they had just cheated on his best friend. He sighed deeply as he thought about how much they would be hurting Steve.

“What are we going to do about Steve?” he spoke the words quietly against the top of her head.

“We’ve just hurt him.” Cath tilted her head up to look into Danny’s face. “No matter how much he says that this is what he wants. We’ve hurt him.”

“I know that, and I probably shouldn’t have pushed you into this, but reading that letter he left you made me angry.” Danny explained “So angry all I wanted was to take what we wanted and to hurt him the same way he hurt us.”

Cath pulled out of his arms and dragged the sheet from the bottom of the bed and wrapped herself in it. “So this was all about getting what you wanted? And hurting the man you say you love?” she asked, her voice oddly flat.

“That’s not what I said.” Danny responded quickly moving to sit up. 

“That’s exactly what you said.” Cath growled, walking across the room she grabbed her clothes from the seat in the corner of the room, clutching her clothes with one hand and the sheet with the other she moved to the bedroom door.

“Maybe I worded it badly.” Danny scrambled to stop Cath leaving the room. “Didn’t you want to hurt him just a little bit?”

“Why would I want to hurt him?” Cath frowned.

“I don’t know, maybe because he hurt you, maybe because he just discarded you like old socks.” Danny shrugged.

“He didn’t hurt me. Not really. We never ever had anything permanent. I can’t blame him for wanting better for me.” Cath responded, grabbing the door handle.

“Well I’m sorry, you might be well adjusted enough to deal with what he did but it hurt me.” Danny answered honestly as he pushed the door closed before she could open it.

“I’m going to a shower, Danny, Maybe you should get dressed.” Cath pulled the door open and slipped onto the landing walking into the other bedroom without a look back.

Danny watched her go and as she walked into the other bedroom he slammed the door behind her so hard that the door rattled on its hinges. Flopping back on the bed growled profanities at himself, flung an arm over his eyes and wondered where everything had just gone so supremely wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

An hour later Danny found Cath, dressed in yoga pants and one of Steve’s old navy tee shirts sitting in one of the Adirondacks looking out over the moonlit water. He stood behind her for some time, unsure of what his reception would be. This was the most awkward he had ever felt with Catherine, and it was all his own doing.  
“I’m not going to bite.” Cath spoke softly, “You can come down here.”

“I need to apologize.” Danny responded, he had showered and borrowed a pair of Steve’s sweat pants and a tee shirt.

“No. You really don’t.” Cath answered. “But I do want you to come and sit with me. We need to talk.”

Danny walked around Cath’s seat and settled himself in his customary seat. They sat in silence listening to the soothing sound of the waves. If Danny hadn’t been so on edge over the whole situation he’d be cursing his partner for somehow making waves crashing more soothing than annoying. 

“I don’t think we should do this again, Danny.” Cath started, her voice halting. 

“I know, I fucked up.” Danny turned in his seat to really look at Cath. She was curled in her chair, her feet tucked up under her, her arms wrapped around her body as she looked out over the ocean. The moonlight did nothing to hide the tear tracks on her pale cheeks. “Cath, believe me I know we could have done things better, differently. But I don’t think that means that we can’t be good together.”

“Danny, you said it yourself. Steve has cut me loose. I’ve spent ten years with Steve. It may not have been permanent, hell it might not even have been regular, but we’re good friends, I don’t have another friend like him, and even though I’ve always known that I’m second best for him, he’s never, ever hurt me, deliberately or indirectly the way you did with just one statement.”

“I realise that.” Danny interrupted her, “And I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. You know that.”

“I know.” She sighed, “But I realised something. I’m done being someone’s runner up. I’m attractive, I’m smart. I like to think I’m a catch, so I’m done being the good time girl for friends that can’t get their shit together.”

“That’s understandable.” Danny nodded running his fingers through his hair. “Why do I sense a but in there somewhere?”

“If you want to do this again.” Cath started to say and then laugh, she lifted her hands behind her head and bundled her hair into a ponytail and tied it into a loose knot before she turned to look at Danny. “If we’re going to do this you have to convince me that I’m not the consolation prize Danny.”

“I can’t do that Cath.” Danny answered quickly.

She sat in silence for a long moment, watching Danny, her eyes never moving from his.

“Thank you for your honesty.” 

“Can I say something?” Danny asked.

“There isn’t much else to say is there?”

“You can’t ask me to answer that question and not expect an explanation.” Danny stood, waving his hands angrily. “That’s not something you can answer with a yes or no. Fuck, Catherine. It’s all more complicated than that.”

“You think I don’t know that Danny?” Cath’s voice was close to a sob.

“Yes. I love him. Alright. You happy. I’ve confessed to you. I haven’t said those words to anyone else.” Danny dropped down to sit on the grass verge where it overhung the beach. “But that’s not enough.”

“Why not?” Cath asked.

“Because it’s not. You read his letter. He’s not going to even try. So yes you would be a consolation prize of sorts, but I love you too. The only difference is that I love you as a friend. At the moment.” Danny rested his elbows on his knees and rested his face in his hands, “Just because he doesn’t want either of us, can’t we see if we can make something of us?”

Cath slid off the chair and knelt behind Danny, resting her face on his back. “I don’t know, Danny, I really don’t know.”

Danny turned and pulled Cath into his arms, wrapping her in his warmth. Holding her tightly, he rested his head on the top of hers.

“He’s like our sun, and we’re the planets in his universe. I’ve never been able to deny him.” Cath murmured. “It’s all so fucking hard.”

“We’ll work it out, Cath.” Danny murmured. “I promise you we’ll work it out.”

“There’s something else, Danny.” Cath spoke, her fingers twisting together in her lap.

“That sounds serious.” Danny cupped his fingers under her chin and turned her face up to his.

“We didn’t use anything, Danny.” She stated.

“We didn’t….” Danny frowned as realisation of what she was talking about dawned on him. “Oh…I’m so sorry, Cath.”

“I’ve never had unprotected sex in my life Danny.” Cath looked away from him. “Even with Steve. Never.”

“Anything that happens.” Danny took a deep breath. “We’ll deal with it together.”

Cath searched his eyes, looking for the truth in his statement. “You mean that don’t you.”

“I don’t say anything that I don’t mean.” 

“Thank you.” She stretched up to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “God dammit, I feel like a virgin on prom night.”

“Hasn’t that horse bolted?” Danny grinned at her. 

“You know what I mean, Danny.”

“I have a suggestion.” Danny placed his hands on her shoulders and clasped them fondly.

“I hope it’s better than having sex, because we are so not doing that again, yet at least.” Cath tilted her head back.

“No, but I thought that since we are both mature adults we could spend the night in the same bed. You sleep better when you’re not alone and I could certainly do with not sleeping on the sofa.”

“I think we could do that.” Cath nodded, pulling herself out of the chair and looping an arm around his neck.

~@~@~@~@~

Shorthanded in the Five-0 offices, Cath had taken to working with Chin and Danny, manning the office when the two men were out. She was inexperienced in the field and hated feeling like a rookie, but she enjoyed running the technical issues so the two men could operate in the field. Two weeks passed, Danny and Cath were almost constantly in the other’s orbit and sometimes it seemed like they would work together, but at other times all they wanted to do was kill each other. One day while Danny and Chin were out working a case, Cath was poring over the tech table, pulling together the financials on a current case when Joe White walked through the doors.

“Lt. Rollins, what are you doing here?” he quirked one eyebrow at her.

“Just helping the task force out while Steve is away, Sir.” Cath answered honestly.

“Is Williams here?” he asked, glancing around the room.

“He and Chin Ho are out interviewing suspects.” Cath responded, pulling up their GPS coordinates on the screen.

“I need to see both you and Williams, tonight at Steve’s house.” Joe stated and turned to stalk out of the room without another word.

Cath watched his retreat confused. Something was off in his behaviour and his manner. Pulling out her phone, she thought about calling Danny but something made her text him instead, then almost as an afterthought sent Steve a quick message ‘Are U Okay? We are worried. Pls check in.’

Less than thirty minutes later Chin and Danny arrived back at Headquarters. Danny pushed through the door, his eyes scanning the office looking for Cath. She was sitting in Steve’s office curled up in his chair, waiting for their return.

“What’s up?” Danny asked, stopping in front of Steve’s desk. “You sounded worried.”

“I am.” Cath nodded her face pale. “Something is wrong with Steve.”

“What makes you think that?” Chin frowned at Cath from where he stood behind Danny.

“Because Joe White was just here and he demanded an audience with Danny and I tonight at Steve’s house.”

“He’s supposed to be with Steve.”

“Steve wasn’t with him, so I drew the conclusion that something is wrong.”

“Why don’t you two go home, it’s nearly home time anyways.” Chin suggested. “I’ll hold down the fort here.”

Danny looked at Cath and then glanced back at Chin. “Thanks buddy.” He spoke and moved around the table to take Cath by the hand and lead her out of the office. He dragged her after him and waited until she was sitting in the car, before he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, frowning as she shrunk away from him. 

They drove silently to the house, Cath slipping out of the car as soon as it stopped in the driveway and ran up the pathway into the house. By the time Danny secured the car and followed her into the house, he found her sitting outside watching the ebb and flow of the ocean.

“I’ll give. What did Joe say to you?” Danny stood beside the chair looking at the sun sinking closer to the horizon.

“Nothing.” Cath murmured. “He didn’t need to. I know something is wrong.”

“What are you?” Danny ranted his arms windmilling. “Fucking psychic? Jesus Cath I expect this crap from him, not you. What is wrong?”

“Steve is missing.” Joe’s voice stated from behind them.

“What do you mean Steve is missing? I thought you were going to look after him? I thought you knew where you were going? I regret ever fucking calling you back into his life do you know that?”

“I never left his life, Williams.” Joe spoke, “And all this melodrama isn’t helping him.”

“What happened? Cath asked softly.

“He missed the last two check ins. There has been heavy Yakuza traffic in the area he was last seen in.”

“Why are you here and not there looking for him?” Danny growled his fists clenching as he struggled not to hit the older man.

“I’m following his instructions.” Joe shrugged, “I’m on a military flight out tonight, but he wanted the two of you to be informed of his loss if he missed two check ins.”

“His loss?” Danny exclaimed. “You don’t know that.”

“It’s a fair bet, Williams.” Joe answered. “He’s been tracked by the Yakuza since he left Hawaii, he’s been missing for a week, that’s well beyond the scope for just about all information retrieval techniques.”

“Information retrieval techniques?” Danny questioned.

“He’s talking about torture, Danny.” Cath spoke softly.

“Let me get this straight.” Danny growled, getting up in Joe’s face. “He’s missing, possibly in enemy hands being tortured or God only knows what and you are standing here doing shit about it.”

“He’s a big boy, he knows what to do and if he can’t do that for himself then I can’t help him.”

“Get off this Island.” Danny snarled.

“Excuse me?” Joe frowned.

“Was I not clear enough? Get out of this house. Get off this island and don’t fucking come back unless you have him with you in one fucking piece.” Danny poked a finger in Joe’s chest with every word.

Joe grasped him by the finger and pushed it back. “I’m going not because I am obeying YOUR commands. But because I have delivered his message and I’m going back to search.”

“Good riddance.” Danny murmured as he turned his back on Joe and closed his arms around Cath.

Cath pulled out of his arms and wrapped her arms around herself and turned on him accusingly.

“We did this.” Cath stated. Tears welled in her eyes as she spoke. “We may as well have pulled the trigger ourselves.

“What the fuck are you talking about Cath.” Danny frowned running his fingers through his hair.

“Us. This. Whatever the fuck this is that we are doing. This caused this.”

“Don’t be fucking stupid.” Danny stepped towards her, “This has nothing to do with that.”

“Of course it does.” Cath responded. “You read that letter, he was upset, he was stressing about us, He was distracted. He’s dead and it’s our fault.”

“We don’t know that he’s dead.”

“You know that he’d die before he’d break. You do know that don’t you? How many times have you saved him when he won’t give in?” Cath turned and paced as she spoke. “He’s been suffering, tortured and we’ve been here fucking.”

“You don’t know that Cath.” Danny tried to step towards her only to have his hands slapped away. “He’s probably laying low somewhere. He’ll turn up, he always does.”

“Until he doesn’t.” Cath sobbed. “He’s my oldest friend, Danny.”

Danny enfolded her in his arms and held her tight as she struggled to get away until she gave in and melted against his body. He turned her in his arms and held the back of her head as she cried.

“And he’s my best friend, we aren’t writing him off just yet.” He stroked her hair softly, “But you can’t possibly think that what has happened here has had anything to do with what he is doing.”

Cath pulled out of his arms and watched him carefully, “Jesus Danny how can you be so fucking stupid?”

“What have I done now?” Danny looked at her amazed at the change in direction.

“It’s the whole reason for it.” She threw her arms over her head and paced out onto the beach. She turned when she got there. “Seriously?”

“I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about Cath.”

“He loves you Danny. He doesn’t do things by half. You know that.”

“I…He…Are you sure?” Danny flailed, his mouth falling open and closing again.

“I know it as clearly as you know he would sacrifice himself for any one of his team.” 

“That’s the army in him, that doesn’t mean he loves me.” Danny responded quickly.

“It’s the fucking Navy, Danny.” Cath growled at him, “The fact that he hasn’t dropped your ass for all your Military slander is testament that you are more important to him than the Navy is.”

“It’s a joke.” Danny muttered, dropping into the chair behind him.

“The point is Danny, that he loves you. He wants you to be happy and he will even make himself miserable to do that. He thinks you want me. He’s made it possible for us to be together guilt free. We never should have done this.” She spoke and dropped into the chair beside Danny.

“What do you want me to do, Cath?” Danny spoke to his feet. “I have no contacts that will know where he is. You were my goto to find him when he went off on his half assed missions.”

“I don’t know. Alright. I don’t know what I want.” Cath choke on a sob. “Except I don’t want him dead or missing or whatever the fuck he is.”

“You think I do?” Danny exclaimed.

They sat there in silence the sound of the waves slowly soothing the tension that had enshrouded them since Joe’s visit. Danny watched the moon reflecting off the waves and let the tide ebb and flow, the soothing susurrations sluicing the sharp edges of his anger until he felt calm enough to try and coax Cath away from her thoughts.

“C’mon.” he murmured as he pulled himself to his feet.

“What?” Cath asked absently, ignoring the hand he extended to her.

“We’re going to bed. Same bed, platonic intentions. In the morning you will reach out to whoever it is you reach out to. You find him, Chin and I will go and bring him home.”  
“Promise?” Cath looked up at him beseechingly.

“I want him home as much as you do, Catherine.” Danny slipped his hand into hers and pulled her to her feet.

They made their way slowly up to the bedroom; both of them took care of their night time ablutions before sliding into opposite sides of the bed. They started out on opposite sides, but as they slipped into slumber their bodies gravitated towards the warmth of the other.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve dropped his duffle by the front door. Wearily he slid his key into the lock and pushed the door open. As the door swung silently open he toed his partially laced boots from his feet and then walked into his house. Wrapping one arm around his chest to support the pain his ribs were providing, he leaned back against the door and drew a deep breath willing himself to relax. He walked through to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. Leaning against the kitchen island, he watched through the filmy curtains as the waves washed up onto his shore. As he swallowed large gulps of water, he lifted one hand to touch the butterfly bandages adorning his forehead. He had really thought he wasn’t coming home. The miles from the docks to the house had felt like they would never end. He knew he was in questionable shape, but he’d been worse and survived. He was still pissing a pink tinged stream, his vision blurred in and out and his ribs hurt like a bitch, his body may be covered with a bit more colour than normal but he was home. 

He should have known that he wouldn’t find anything. 

Joe had now proven to him just what side he was on. That was something that hurt him far more than it should. He had thought of Joe as a second father and to know that Joe was willing to betray him for Doris really did hurt. This would be the last time he would listen to anything the older man had to say. Danny had known all along that something was sketchy with Joe. He had warned him time and time again, but Steve had still trusted Joe. Danny. Even the name was like a balm to his soul. Just thinking about him soothed jangled nerves and aching bones. He had been wrong before he left; Steve had thought that he could live without Danny and Cath in his life. He was the first to admit that he had been reckless on this little expedition, but all he could think about was getting home to Cath and Danny and fixing the mess that he had created with his stupidly selfless gesture before he left. Dropping his water bottle into the recycling bin, he walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, unconsciously avoiding the creaky third step. As he reached the door, the exertion of climbing the stairs made him wrap his arm back around his chest, he closed his other hand on the doorknob, wanting nothing more than to ease himself into his own bed and let sleep take away the horrors that his mind could barely contain anymore.

As the door swung slowly open, Steve could barely contain his own gasp. Moonlight through the gossamer curtains left the bedroom lit as if by twinkling fairy lights. In the centre of the bed, Danny lay on his side, his arm wrapped loosely around Cath’s waist, Cath’s chestnut mane fanned out across Danny’s bare chest and shoulder, her head nestled into Danny’s chest.

Something tightened in Steve’s chest as he saw them. He leaned briefly against the door jamb as he struggled to keep his legs beneath him. Even so he couldn’t take his eyes off of them, Danny so golden and Cath so dark against him, her arm loose around his waist as she snuggled in to him. Gathering his wits he pulled the door gently closed, the fingertips of his free hand against the door to ensure the continued slumber of the rooms inhabitants.

He made it downstairs on auto pilot and slumped, defeated, on the sofa. This shouldn’t bother him, he had engineered it. He had practically pushed them at each other, but what else could he do, he couldn’t give Cath what she needed from him. He knew that she would never ask him for more than he was willing to give, and he just didn’t have more that he could give her. His heart belonged to Danny. He’d been trying to find a way to tell him, to feel out his reactions, to maybe take their partnership where Steve had always hoped to go, but every time he thought he had found just the right moment, something would break the spell and it would be gone. Besides, lately he’d seen the way that Danny had been looking at Cath. The little longing glances when he thought that no one was looking. His partner had fallen in love with his Catherine. It was better this way anyway, Steve almost laughed at his own thoughts, and he always broke the ones he loved. It was better this way, the two people he loved most in the world could be happy and wouldn’t have to contend with the emotional curse he seemed to carry.

Rising and walking into the kitchen, he took a notepad from the kitchen island. The same notepad that he and Catherine usually left notes for what they need at the grocery store, and sure enough there in Cath’s flowing hand was the beginnings of a the shopping list and tacked onto the bottom was ‘case of longboards’ in Danny’s sharper scrawl. His mouth turned up as he realised that they had turned into a couple in his absence. Pulling a piece of paper from under the declaration of their coupledom, he scrawled his own note. 

“Back, In one piece more or less, going to get away for a few days. Don’t worry about me. Steve.”

He pinned his note to the fridge with the seal magnet that Gracie had given him when they had visited the Sea Life Park. He turned to walk out of his house, but in a moment of selfish reflection he turned and pulled a sheet of paper from the freezer door. He held it in both hands for a moment looking at it in moonlit illumination, the precocious eleven year old had raced out to meet him on the beach one day waving the page in her hands. She had presented it to him with all the seriousness a child could muster. The picture in his hands was ‘Grace’s Hawaiian Family’ not her mother or her step-father, but it was her Danno and Uncle Steve, the love and acceptance and just plain ownership on Grace’s face had wrapped itself around Steve’s heart and just about strangled it in that moment. 

His ribs pinched painfully and he leaned his face against the door jamb as he tried to catch his breath. He carefully folded the paper and pushed it into his pocket. Walking through the house he stopped at the doorway and pushed his feet into a pair of boots, before he turned and plucked his phone from his pants pocket and placed it on the coffee table then took a last look at the rooms he was leaving behind. He swung his duffel over his shoulder and walked slowly down the path towards the garage. Opening the creaking wooden doors carefully he pulled the cover off the Marquis and slung his duffel into the passenger seat. Sliding into the driver’s seat Steve started the car, listening to the rumbling purr of the engine, he steered it out of the garage and down the driveway, turning onto the street he glanced back one final time before he turned onto the street and away.

~@~@~@~

Danny woke slowly, his hand caressing slowly up Cath’s back as she snuffled closer into him. Rolling carefully unto his back and closed his eyes again and tried to fall back into the comfortable slumber he’d been floating in. It didn’t matter what he did sleep wasn’t welcoming him back. He slid out from under Cath’s hold, standing by the side of the bed, he yawned stretching his arms widely before just standing there watching Cath sleep. After he’d slid out she had settled into the warmth his body had left behind, her fingertips clutching at his pillow. Danny stood there watching, one hand scrubbing absently at his chest hairs, the other idly scratching his balls.

Realising he was staring, Danny grabbed his clothes and wandered into the other bathroom, showering and shaving before moving downstairs to start breakfast. He frowned as he walked through the house, he wasn’t a superstitious man but something felt off. He shook off the feeling and continued through to the kitchen, flicking on the coffee pot, he pulled the fridge door open and extracted the milk and a bottle of water. Placing the milk on the counter he uncapped the water bottle and drank it down as he stood there. 

Throwing the bottle into the recycling bin, he turned back to the coffee maker, inhaling deeply as he did, he frowned. Leaning up a little, he reached up and rubbed his thumb over a smudge on the wall. Rubbing the rusty mark he brought his pinched fingers to his nose and smelt, he rubbed the substance between his fingertips and came to full attention.

He glanced around the room and stepped back slowly to the butcher’s block and slid a carving knife from it. Looking at the huge blade in his hand he turned back to the block and slid it back home. Pulling out a paring knife he hefted it in his hand and with a shrug of his shoulders walked slowly out of the kitchen, his eyes carefully scanning every part of the room he could see. 

Crossing the room, he stepped quickly up the stairs, carefully avoiding the creaky board at the third step, and slid into the bedroom. Sitting gently on the edge of the bed he placed the knife on the bedside table and put his hand over Cath’s mouth as he leaned in to press his mouth almost to her ear.

“Ssh, someone has been in the house.” He whispered, sliding his hand from her mouth at her nod he reached into the drawer of the bedside table and slid his sidearm out. Cath slid out of the other side of the bed, grabbing the baseball bat that Steve kept there. Danny shook his head at the sight of Cath with the bat, because of course Steve kept sports equipment in the bedroom, as a weapon. Of course he did.

Danny poked his head around the corner of the door jamb, Cath’s hand pressed his shoulder and he advanced, both of them clearing the rooms on the upper level quickly, and moving soundlessly down the stairs. They split up at the base of the stairs, Danny waving Cath into the kitchen area and he moved silently around the living room and into the office. Satisfied that whoever had been there was no longer in attendance, Danny stuck in gun into the waistband of his jeans and walked through the walkway into the kitchen. When he got there he found Cath, white faced with a piece of paper in her trembling fingers. 

“What?” Danny frowned. “What is it?”

“It wasn’t an intruder.” Cath looked up at him, her bottom lip trembling.

“How can you be sure?” 

“I know.” She murmured at pressed the note into his fingers.

Danny looked down at the note and read it quickly. 

“Shit.” He cussed.

“He was here Danny.” Cath stated.

“I can see that, Catherine.” Danny responded angrily as he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Steve’s number.

Both of them looked at each other in surprise as they heard at the tiny tones of “Living in a Prayer” sounding in the living room. Cath followed the noise and returned with Steve’s phone in her hand.

“He clearly doesn’t want to be found.” Cath shrugged her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

“Don’t start with the we did this rubbish.” Danny answered her quickly.

“What else would it be?” she shrugged.

“It’s always like this when he comes back from these half assed little missions he goes on. He gets all stuck inside his own head and needs time to get himself sorted out.”

“How often has he done that without you in recent memory?”

“Okay, granted lately I’m usually looking out for him while he regroups, but he doesn’t need me.” Danny jammed his hands in his pockets. “C’mon, get dressed, we’ll head in to the office and we’ll track him down.”

“Good luck with that.” Cath grinned wryly, “When he doesn’t want to be found he won’t be.” 

“I’m his partner. I’ll find him.” 

“Danny, he’s hiding from us, because of us, he’s not going to make it easy for you. The fact that he left his phone here should tell you that much.”

“I’ll find him.” Danny stated patting her on the shoulder as he pushed her towards the stairs. “Quicker you get it together the quicker I can find him.”

Cath nodded and ran up the stairs, while Danny moved back into the kitchen. Grabbing a mug from the draining board, Danny poured himself a coffee and stood watching the waves rolling in against the beach. 

Sipping on his coffee, Danny couldn’t help but let his mind wander over the morning’s events. He’d known for a long time that Steve was confused by their relationship but he had never even considered that his partner might feel exactly the same way about him. He had to find him. He had to find him and sort through the fiasco that had become his life. Hopefully they could somehow find a way for everyone to be happy. He turned to look at the smudge on the wall, his fingers tracing over the rusty mark, Steve was clearly injured and probably not thinking as coherently as he could be. It was no wonder he had blown everything out of all proportion.

“Ready.” Cath murmured, startling Danny from his thoughts.

“C’mon.” Danny acknowledged. “We’ve got a sulky SEAL to track down.” He put his mug down on the island and walked through the house collecting his keys from the bowl near the front door.

~@~@~@~@

“Good news is I’m pretty sure he’s still on the island.” Chin spoke as he looked at his two team mates across the tech table.

“What is pretty sure?” Cath asked softly. 

“I can’t find him on any airport CCTV, but the downside is that I couldn’t even find him coming in.” Chin responded with a shrug. “Can somebody fill me in on what’s going on here?”

“It’s complicated, Chin.”

“Are you two the reason why he’s running away?” Chin narrowed his eyes as he looked at them. “I’ve not said anything so far because it’s not my place, and it hasn’t interfered with anyone’s work but there are reasons why there are fraternization rules.”

“You’re right.” Danny started to speak, “It’s not your business, Chin.”

“Let me finish, Williams.” Chin interrupted him. “Cath, I’m sorry this isn’t personal. But it’s got to stop, it was bad enough with Steve being distracted by his feelings for you, but I could forgive that because really it’s no different to how he always has been with Danny since the team began and you’ve got incredible skills, but I don’t know what the fuck you two,” he gestured between them, “have going on, but it needs to stop. It’s bad enough that Steve’s emotions are compromised but to have him screwed up by the two people he is closest too? That is cruel and unusual and there is no way that I’m going to let it go on. You need to keep it in your pants” he pointed at Danny, ”and I don’t even know where to start with you.” He gestured at Cath.

“Are you done?” Danny stood, his hands fisted on his hips as he struggled not to bark at Chin. The only trouble was, he knew that Chin was right, he was, however, damned if he was going to tell him that.

“I guess so.” Chin shrugged his eyes narrowed in annoyance.

“You said you had good and bad news.” Cath interjected.

“That I did.” Chin answered turning to look at her.

“Why do I get the impression that is the best news we’ll get?” Danny growled as he tried to settle his anger.

“Because it is.” Chin looked at him. “He left his phone at the house, he didn’t take his truck. We have no way to track him. It’s all going to come down to how well you know him or how much we can think like him.”

Danny stood looking at the tech desk, lost in his thoughts before he looked up at the others. “I know where he is.”

“How do we want to play this?” Chin asked.

“I’ll go and bring him in. Alone.” Danny turned to Cath and grasping her biceps gently he reached up to place a soft kiss on her forehead before he turned and walked out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Danny swung by his apartment on the way and changed into soft jeans, a tee shirt and hiking boots. He spent the drive trying to decide how he was going to explain himself to Steve, and more to the point, how he was going to convince Steve to come back. Arriving at the secluded spot he parked and locked the Camaro and set off towards the mountains that Steve loved.

His shirt was wet with sweat by the time he reached the actual petroglyphs, he paused and looked over the edge of the small drop, all there was in front of him was rock and tree branches but was still seeing the images his dreams had provided for weeks after their visit here. Steve laying at the bottom, as broken and lifeless as the body they had found there.

“Where are you, Steve?” Danny murmured to himself.

“I told you not to look for me.” Steve’s voice sounded from behind him, the noise startled Danny so badly he nearly stumbled forward and over the cliff.

“Holy fuck, Steven. What are you trying to do? Kill me?” Danny yelled at him, waving his arms wildly as he stepped forward and pulled Steve into a tight embrace, only pulling back when Steve flinched involuntarily.

“Go home, Danno.” Steve pulled back out of Danny’s reach as he spoke, his face blank.

“Not until we talk, and even then, not without you.”

Steve walked back a few paces and pulled his pack from behind a boulder, drawing a canteen of water from a side pocket he tossed it to Danny.

“You need to hydrate, why didn’t you bring water with you?” Steve explained as he moved away from Danny to stand facing the petroglyphs.

“Just stop it.” Danny sighed, he stepped closer to Steve and pressed a hand against his back in support. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Steve shrugged shortly.

“Yeah that is why you look like shit that has been hammered flat, rolled up and driven over.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Steve huffed.

“I’m serious, you gigantic He-man.”

“I’m fine. Nothing that won’t heal.” 

“It’s like pulling fucking teeth.” Danny muttered. “Do I need to take you to ER?”

“Danny. I’m fine, they patched me up in China.”

“China? What. The. Hell?”

“It’s a long story, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Did you find your mother?”

“Did you not just hear me say that I don’t want to talk about it?”

“Just answer me, Steven.”

“Yes I found my mother. No I didn’t speak to her. Why? Because all I found was a headstone. Do I believe she’s dead? Hell if I know. I believed it once before and look where that got me.”

“I’m sorry.” Danny leaned in closer to Steve and sighed sadly when Steve pulled away.

“For what?” Steve walked to the edge of the cliff, “For being right about my mother? For knowing that Joe was playing me, every single day of my life since I was fifteen. Hell even before then. He was playing my father. The man who trusted him with his life, with his son’s life, Joe had been lying to him probably their entire friendship.”

“I didn’t know that for sure.” Danny murmured, “But that isn’t what I was apologising for.”

“You have nothing to apologise to me for.” Steve turned to really look at him for the first time since he had revealed himself.

“Yes I do. We both do and we’re sorry. Not that I can speak for her. She’s her own woman. But I am truly sorry that we have hurt you.”

Steve turned around and walked across the ledge to sit down against the rock wall, wincing as he moved the wrong way.

“Are you sure you don’t need a doctor?” Danny moved to squat down beside him, reaching out he brushed a hand across Steve’s forehead, feeling the feverish skin, and brushing back a stray lock of hair.

“Please don’t.” Steve pulled away from Danny’s caring touch.

“I never meant to hurt you babe.” Danny murmured.

“I’m fine.” Steve looked at his knees as he spoke. 

“No, you’re not and I really need to explain.” Danny sat down beside him, his legs thrown out in front of him not looking at Steve.

“I could see how you felt about her. I was in the way. I took myself out of the equation.”

“Just stop it, Steve.” Danny responded sharply. “This isn’t some sort of tactical manoeuvres, it’s not a military logistics operation. This is your life and your emotions.”

“I could see how you felt, and I know Cath has feelings for you too, it was better for everyone to let you be happy.”

They sat there for a long time. Danny was determined to wait Steve out but he couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

“That isn’t the way to make me happy, babe.” Danny whispered.

“I just want you to be happy.” Steve murmured.

“What about you?” Danny looped his arms over his knees and turned his head to look at Steve.

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll survive, I always do.”

“You just don’t get it do you?” Danny shook his head at the sadness in Steve’s voice. “It’s not about survival, it’s about making life better.”

“Maybe that will work for you, D, but all I can do is survive. It’s what I do and it’s not going to change now. Just go home to Cath.”

“Are we going to talk about Cath?” 

“For the love of God, could you just leave me be?” Steve surged painfully to his feet and paced back and forth along the ledge.

“Will you come home with me?” Danny asked softly.

“I can’t, not yet.”

“What can I do for you to come home?” Danny put a hand on Steve’s back stopping the nervous movements.

“Nothing. It’s not you, it’s not Cath, it’s me. I just need some time to get things straight in my head.”

“How long?”

“What?” Steve turned on him, his brows furrowed.

“How long are you going to stay out here, living like some sort of caveman?”

“It’s called camping, Danny.” Steve sighed, he couldn’t withhold the annoyance in his voice. “You’re seriously asking me to tell you how long I’m going to be here? I don’t know, Danny. Alright. I don’t know. When I feel like the world isn’t trying to suffocate me I’ll come home, okay?” He sighed and scrubbed his hands through his hair. “I don’t know okay?” he paused then turned to look into Danny’s face. “Please Danny, just let me be, I’ll be fine, I just need some time.”

“I’m going to come and check on you every day.” Danny nodded.

“I’m an adult, D. I’ve been in war zones. I think I can handle camping out here for a few days.”

“Not since I’ve met you.” Danny stated, the response simple and succinct.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you haven’t been in an active war zone since I’ve been your partner. And I don’t know about you, but for me partnership means caring and caring means when your partner is troubled you check on them and make sure they’re okay.”

“I’m not going to top myself, Danny.” 

“I wasn’t suggesting that, but you need to know that I know you’re not yourself. That note you left is proof of that.”

“Proof of what, Danny?” Steve stood, his feet apart his hands on his hips and looked at his partner.

“Proof that something isn’t quite right. The McGarrett I know wouldn’t dump his girlfriend in a note.”

“Well maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.” Steve shrugged. “And, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry I forgot. You wouldn’t leave your ‘thing’ a note.” Danny stated complete with air quotes.

“It’s getting dark, shouldn’t you be leaving.”

“For fucks sake, it’s like talking to a wall.” Danny grumbled. “Alright, I’m going, don’t bother moving, I’ll find you no matter where you go.”

Danny walked across the ledge, patting Steve on the back as he passed him. He walked down the path.

“Hey.” Steve called as he walked down the incline. “Thanks, Danny.”

“Yeah,” Danny turned and walked backwards, “I might think you’re worth it you big goofball.” He grinned and turned to continue his trek back to the car. If he’d turned back he would have noticed Steve sitting on the ledge watching Danny until he was out of sight.

~@~@~@~

Danny drove the Camaro slowly back to Headquarters, despite the fact that the work day was rapidly approaching over. He trotted quickly up the stairs and pushed through the doors only to find Chin leaning on the edge of the tech table waiting for him. Fucking GPS.

"Are you going to listen or am I leaving because I'm not doing this twice in one day."

“Then tell me what is going on.” Chin shrugged, “Because at the moment it looks to me like you’re sneaking around like an unfaithful husband, only I don’t think you know who you’re cheating on.”

Danny walked into Steve’s office and pulled two beers from the fridge, then walked back out and pressed one into Chin’s hand.

“So tell, Uncle Chin. What’s going on?” Chin asked. 

“Could that be any creepier?” Danny almost choked on his first pull of beer.

“Sorry.” Chin shrugged, “Only not so much.”

“Before Steve left on his mission, he left Catherine a note.”

“A Dear John?” Chin lifted an eyebrow in question.

“Or Jane as the case may be.” Danny nodded.

“You know that is no different to what his father did to him.” Chin mused.

“You think I don’t know that? He can handle a whole battalion of armed assassins but as soon as it starts getting hard emotionally he runs away.” Danny answered.

“What are you going to do?”

“I complicated shit, I’m not going to lie to you.” Danny took a long pull of his beer.

“How badly?”

“Cath and I had sex.” 

“Danny!” Chin exclaimed, “What the fuck were you thinking, man?”

‘I know alright. Before the afterglow had cooled we both knew that we had done the wrong thing. We were both angry and worried and it was comfort and revenge and all that shit rolled into one big package.”

“Okay. How are you going to fix it?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Danny shrugged. “He clearly saw us in bed together and that’s why he’s run away. He didn’t think Cath would move on so quickly, but she hasn’t, I just don’t know how to explain it to him.”

“How could you do that to him?”

“We were sleeping, not fucking, you pervert. But now I’ve tainted Cath for him.”

“Seriously?” Chin looked at Danny, his mouth hanging open.

“What?” Danny looked at him curiously, “Have I spilled my beer?”

“You honestly don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“It’s not Cath, it’s you.”

“It’s me, what?”

‘You know what? I expect this from him not you. He’s emotionally retarded because after he hit fifteen he had Joe and the Navy, but you? You had Rachel and Grace and you mixed with people who weren’t taught that emotions were bad.” Chin rambled waving his hands at Danny wildly.

“What are you talking about, Chin?”

“You’re going to stand there and tell me that you honestly have no idea what I’m talking about?”

“I am starting to think that I am the only sane one on this fucking lump of lava rock.” Danny growled.

“He is as head over heels, crazy mad in love with you as you are him.” Chin stated.

“He’s a red blooded, heterosexual GI Joe Action Man with an absolutely perfect woman that loves him back.” Danny pointed a finger at him. “And you, my friend, don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Chin put his beer on the tech desk and put his hands on Danny’s shoulders. 

“Let me make this simple for you. Steve is stupidly in love with you, has been almost since the beginning. You are stupidly in love with him, for almost as long.” Chin shook Danny gently. “How are we going to fix this?”

Danny pulled away from his hold and walked away pacing back and forth as he thought things through.

“Are you sure?” Danny looked up and spoke quietly.

“As sure as I am that true love is real and powerful and shouldn’t be ignored.” Chin answered sadly, Danny knew that he was thinking about Malia.

“Then I have no idea what I’m going to do.” Danny responded simply.

~@~@~@~

Danny didn’t sleep much that night. To be completely truthful he didn’t sleep at all. He had so many thoughts and hopes running through his head, hopes that he had never allowed himself to have before. Sure enough he’d thought them in his weakest moments, when Grace was kidnapped and Steve fought just as hard to get her back, when Steve had stayed with him but he’d never really considered that it could actually happen. But now when he thought about it, and looked at their past objectively he could see that really, Steve didn’t treat him and Cath any differently, it was just that Cath got all the good bits. 

Danny drove aimlessly, not really paying attention to his route until he finally decided to stop at the Diamondhead Lookout. He sat on the brick wall and watched as the sky slipped from indigo to azure and surfers began to ride the early morning waves into shore.

It was while watching one of the surfers, his board tucked under his arm, walking up the stairs just below Danny’s perch that he made his decision. Climbing back to the roadside, he patted the top of the Earhart Monument for luck and then climbed into the Camaro. Its engine purred as he turned onto the road and pointed it in the direction he needed to go.

It didn’t take him long to get back to his destination. He only had one stop to make on the way, when he arrived he locked the car, grabbed his bag and started off on the walk he needed to make. He got to the bottom of the mountain, and standing in the thigh high green grass rustling in the early morning breeze he looked up and what he saw took his breath away. Steve sat on a ledge, shirtless with his cargo pants riding low on his hips, watching Danny’s arrival.

“Morning babe.” He called up.

“What do you want, Danny?” Steve responded warily.

“To check that my partner has survived the night in the wild.” Danny grinned, closing the distance between them and handed the bag he was carrying to Steve.  
“I’m a big boy, Daniel, I’m quite capable of spending a night camping alone.” Steve looked into the bag and pulled a warm sugar coated Malasada from the bag before handing it back to Danny. “Besides this is hardly the wilds.”

“I did some thinking last night.” Danny paced on the ledge behind Steve as he spoke.

“Did it hurt?” Steve asked as he bit into the fluffy confection in his hand.

“Ha. Ha.” Danny smacked him on the back of the head. “No, I decided that we’ve been going about this all the wrong way.”

“Going about what Danny?” Steve frowned.

“Just listen to me, Babe.” Danny spoke. “I know how you feel about me. I apparently should have worked it out a long time ago. But I was too busy hiding from you the way that I feel about you. I know you think that I was lusting after Catherine, but you’re wrong. Cath wasn’t the focus of my intentions. So now that is all out in the open, I’m going to head off to work. You can stay here and get your head together or whatever it is you are doing. I just wanted you to know that when you come home, things are going to be different.” 

Before Steve could utter another word Danny started back off down the hill, not turning back until he had reached the car. 

~@~@~@~

 

Danny had no intention of going to work, he called Chin while he was driving and begged the day off, which apparently was a contagion in their office today. Chin promised Danny that he would be leaving the office soon too, their workload was quiet and they could all do with a little downtime.

Driving into the Casa McGarrett driveway, Danny wasn’t surprised to see Cath’s car parked beside the garage. He slipped out of the car and walked around the side of the house. As he rounded the building he saw Cath swimming. Walking down to the chairs at the edge of the beach, he settled, waiting for her to get back to the beach. 

“Are you okay, Danny?” Cath asked as she walked out of the water.

Danny, startled by her voice smiled at her and threw the towel that was resting over the arm of the other chair at her.

“Sorry, I was miles away, how was the water?” 

“Wet?” she smiled. “Miles away with a certain SEAL?” Cath reached out and brushed her fingers down his arm.

“Not physically.” Danny shrugged.

“What are you going to do?” 

“Honestly?” Danny stood and started to pace across the sand as he spoke. “I don’t really know. But I went out there and threw a gauntlet. I have to wait to see if he picks it up, or if what we did is too much for him to forgive.”

“I’m sorry, Danny.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Danny stopped in front of her and clasped her face in his hands before he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“I do. I’ve known how he feels for a long time. You have had his heart from the start. You just needed to reach out and take it.”

“What about you?” Danny knelt in front of her and held her hands.

“I’ll be fine. I have always known that I was never the ‘one’ for him. He’s my best friend, and whatever else we have had, we will always be the best of friends.”

“You’re something else, you know that?” Danny hugged her tight then rose to his feet.

“I’ve already got my stuff in the car, I’m going to stay at Kono’s place until she gets back. You two need some privacy.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I do and you two deserve it.” She wrapped her towel around her waist and kissed his forehead gently. “I’m just a phone call away.”

Danny watched her walk around the side of the house and sat down in the chair again. He sat for some time and watched the waves wash up onto the beach. As the incoming tide slowly ate away the sandy expanse in front of him, Danny stood and moved into the house. He went up the stairs to the bedroom and tidied the bedroom, he cleaned the shower and the toilet bowl in the ensuite bathroom and then changed the sheets on the bed. 

Whistling almost to himself, he bundled the sheets under his arm and went downstairs and into the laundry. He moved into the kitchen and tidied all the counter tops. He stepped into the laundry to shift the linen from the washer to the dryer, humming under his breath he walked back through the kitchen to the living room, intent on going up to the bathroom. As he walked through the living room he couldn’t help a sharp yelp of surprise at seeing Steve standing just inside the door.

“What the everloving fuck, Steven?” He yelled at him.

“I thought you wanted me to come home.” Steve stated, shrugging his shoulders as he spoke.

“Well…yes.” And with that, Danny’s anger deflated. He walked closer to Steve, watching him closely, noticing a new scrape on the side of his face that hadn’t been there yesterday. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Steve’s hand involuntarily went to the long scrape on his cheek.

“Sure, tough guy.” Danny stepped into Steve’s personal space and knocked his hand away from his face. He looped a finger under Steve’s chin and turned his face so that he could inspect the damage for himself.

“I’m not Grace, Danny.” Steve sighed, rolling his eyes as Danny poked and prodded at the abrasions and bruising.

“No you’re not. My sweet Monkey has a sense of self-preservation that seems to have escaped you. Or maybe it was beat out of you in the Navy.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve murmured.

“For what?” Danny asked. “Running away to fight the bad guys on your own, or running off to hide from me?”

“Both?”

“Good, because I could ask you why you think you need to do everything alone, especially when you have a perfectly good, well trained partner here at your disposal.”

“It’s my family crap, D. I can’t involve you in all of that. You have Gracie, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to either of you.”

“Shut up.” Danny stepped back. “Just shut up and get your ass upstairs and into the bathroom.” He pushed Steve towards the stairs, “I’m not getting you home now to lose you to septicemia or whatever the fuck you crazy bastards develop.”

“Septicemia? Really Danny?” Steve raised an eyebrow at Danny as he allowed himself to be herded along.

Danny pushed him as far as the bathroom door and gave him a final shove through the door.

“Three minutes and I’m coming in.” 

“I’m perfectly capable of bathing and dressing.” Steve grumbled.

“Just humor me, okay?” Danny answered “And you’re down to two and a half.”

Danny pulled the door closed as Steve started to unbutton his shirt. Danny moved quietly around the room, turning back the sheets, collecting sleep pants and a tee shirt, hearing the water shut off he waited for a moment before he knocked gently on the door. Opening the door at Steve’s summons, Danny stepped inside the steamy room only to find Steve stepping out of the bathtub, a white towel wrapped around his waist.

“You okay?” Danny asked as he watched Steve stumble almost drunkenly.

“I’m fine, Danny.” Steve spoke, “Please stop fussing.”

“I’ll fuss for as long as I need to you Neanderthal.” Danny clucked at him. 

He guided Steve backwards until the backs of his legs touched the toilet seat and he sank onto the closed lid with a groan. Danny dropped the clothes under his arm onto the edge of the vanity unit, and reached up to pull a small first aid kit out of the cupboard. 

“I’m capable of doing this on my own.” 

“What did I tell you about me, your partner, being here for you when you need me?”

“Fine.” Steve grinned that lopsided grin that Danny always called his dumb schmuck face.

Danny let himself really look at his partner as he pulled cotton balls from the first aid kit. He opened the small bottle of antiseptic and dabbed gently at the open wound along Steve’s cheek. As Steve hissed sharply, Danny let his eyes trail down Steve’s damp chest, the lightly furry torso covered in mottled bruising, some older than others blending from a vague yellow to deep angry magenta, a short neatly stitched gash on his hip disappeared under the towel. Six sutures that Danny could see with God knows how many hidden by the fluffy cotton.

“Do you want to tell me what happened out there?” Danny asked.

“I was distracted and missed a step, tripped and scraped my face.” He paused, his lips tightening as Danny dabbed at a deep abrasion. “No big deal, D.”

“It’s a big deal to me.” Danny blew softly on the disinfected skin. “But I was talking more about when you were off on your family business.”

“I thought we decided we weren’t talking about it.” Steve let his eyes fall closed as he spoke.

“No, buddy, you decided we weren’t talking about it while you were out communing with nature, now that said communion is done, I want to know if anyone is going to come looking for you.”

“Uncle Joe.” Steve never opened his eyes.

“He did this?” Danny waved his hands wildly in the air as he spoke. “To you?”

“Technically not him. His car, but he was behind the wheel.”

“He ran you over?” Danny practically growled.

“I did step from the car.”

Danny stepped back from Steve, opening and closing his mouth as he struggled to make the words he needed to say. “Are you going to tell me the whole story, or do I have to hunt that sneaky fuck down?”

“I don’t think he’ll be back.” Steve stated.

“Why do you sound sad when you say that?”

“Because it might not be much, but apart from Mary he’s the only real family I had left.”

“Well, fuck you very much.” Danny griped.

“You know what I mean.” Steve sighed.

“I know, and trust me I do.” Danny nodded, “But you’ve got me.”

Steve looked up into Danny’s eyes and held his gaze for long minutes. Reaching forward with long arms, he pulled Danny into his space and wrapped his arms around his waist. He leaned forward and pressed his face against Danny’s torso, exhaling slowly as he forced himself to relax.

“Hey big guy, what’s wrong?” Danny resisted, his hands held hesitantly in the air, before he relaxed into Steve’s hold, one hand falling to stroke his back slowly, the other rubbing across Steve’s soft hair.

“Nothing.” Steve shook his head against Danny’s cloth covered chest.

“Gracie does a better impression of nothing, in her sleep, Babe.” Danny chuckled.

“I’ve never had anyone like you before, even Cath.” 

“Of course you have.” 

“What about Billy? Or Freddie?” 

“No one like you.”

They stayed folded in each other’s arms, Danny’s fingers stroking softly across Steve’s chilling skin.

“You’re cold.” Danny noted.

Steve shook his head and reluctantly released his hold on Danny, his face downcast. “Sorry.” He muttered.

“What for?” Danny quizzed “Being human?”

“For clinging.” Steve shrugged, “For the last few days. For everything.”

“No worse than anything over the last three years.” 

“Has it been that bad?” Steve looked up at him, his eyes filled with abject misery.

Danny saw the pain in Steve’s eyes and knelt in front of him. “I might bitch and nag, but that’s how I express my love. You saved me, you big goofball.”

Steve watched him silently, one hand lifting to gently caress Danny’s stubbled chin, his thumb rubbing across his cheekbone. His brows drew together into a pinched frown; his eyes focussed on Danny’s mouth before he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Danny’s in a soft chaste kiss.

Danny pulled back as if Steve’s lips burned him.

“What the fuck?” Danny spluttered.

“I’m sorry, D.” Steve pulled back, wincing as the movement pulled at his painful rib cage. “Please forget I did that. Please don’t leave.”

“What?” Danny looked at him in bewilderment. “Jesus Steven, only you could pull that move right now.”

“I thought that what you said…. I assumed we were in the same place. I’m so sorry.” Steve tilted his head forward to look at his hands as he sat there.

“What for?” Danny postulated as he rolled to his feet. “Kissing me?” he shrugged, “We are in the same place, Babe.”

“Then why?” Steve looked up at him confused.

“Look at yourself. We’ve had four years of frustrating build up and you choose now to make your move? Right now when you’re broken and confused and exhausted. When I’m frustrated and annoyed and pissed at you and for the love of all that is holy all I want to do it hold you while you heal.”

“So it’s not me, it’s the timing.”

“Give the man a medal.” Danny exalted and waved his hands towards the ceiling.

“Then why are you so pissed at me?” Steve frowned. 

“Are you not listening to me?” Danny’s voice lifted exponentially with each syllable.

“I’m listening D, but it’s not making any sense.”

“Let me explain it in simple terms for you since one of us is emotionally retarded and needs the cliff notes version.” Danny explained. “This has been four long years of exquisitely torturous foreplay, and you are not starting something while you are broken.”

“I’m not broken.”

“So says the man who is sitting there dappled with purple and red and bleeding all over the bathroom.” Danny scoffed. 

“I’m not.”

“Shut up.” Danny pointed a finger at him. “This is my explanation. You don’t get to talk.”

Steve put his hands up in supplication and waited for Danny to speak again.

“Long story short, goofball. We are going to kiss and when we kiss we are not going to stop with just a kiss. You know why? Because it’s been four years of foreplay. We kiss and we’re moving straight into that bedroom.” He gestured over his shoulder, “And that big comfortable bed.” He looked at Steve fondly, “Take that goofy look off your face. I told you this is not happening while you’re broken.”

“But Danny.” Steve whined.

“Don’t but Danny me.” Danny stepped back into the space between Steve’s knees, his fingers rubbing against Steve’s shoulder, his eyes following the path of his fingers as he unconsciously traced the top of the swirling green ink. “Besides, we have some stuff we need to talk about.”

“Do you love me?” Steve asked, his eyes searching Danny’s face earnestly.

“Isn’t it a little early in our relationship for the big declaration?” Danny tilted cupped the side of Steve’s face, his thumb tracing under Steve’s eye.

“You said it’s a four year foreplay.” Steve shrugged. “Let me make it easy for you. I love you Danny Williams.”

“Fuck.” Danny’s knees almost buckled as he absorbed Steve’s words. “You shouldn’t say that, yet.”

“Why not? It’s true.” Steve lifted one hand, wincing as the movement pulled on his aching ribs, and trailed his thumb across Danny’s bottom lip.

“Because, it’s too soon. That’s why. Because we have a lot of stuff we need to sort out.”

“It’s not too soon for me.” Steve murmured. “Nothing you can tell me is going to change my mind.”

“You can’t know that, Steven.” Danny grizzled at him, walking away he thought about the things he needed to tell Steve, the confessions he needed to make before his conscience would be clear.

Steve surged to his feet, swaying slightly, pressing his hands to Danny’s shoulders to steady himself.

“I’m going to bed, D, are you coming?” Steve pressed a kiss to Danny’s forehead before he walked into the bedroom.

Danny stood there, his mouth falling open as he struggled to make sense of the situation he had found himself in. Steve was hurt, he was exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and it was all Danny could do not to take advantage of the offer that Steve had just put on the table. The offer that he was sure was being made from some sort of fever induced delusion. He dropped down to sit on the closed toilet seat that Steve had just vacated. His entire being itched with the need to go to Steve, to just let go of all the insecurities and issues that shrouded them, and give them both the fulfilment they had been seeking for four long years.

He stood and walked through to the bedroom, his face softening at what he saw. Steve was laying on the bed, on top of the bedclothes, a soft, worn pair of yoga pants barely clinging to his hips. Danny sighed as he watched him. Steve had aged so much since they had met, and more than four years of aging too. It was more than just a few wrinkles and some silvering of his hair, though he had that too, but Danny only ever really saw the aging when Steve was sleeping. When he slept the worries, the stress all slipped from his countenance. He was young and breathtakingly attractive.

Almost selfishly Danny stripped his clothes from his body and left them in a pile on the floor at the foot of the bed. He walked around to the side of the bed not occupied by Steve and laid on top of the covers. He rolled onto his side and just looked at Steve as he drifted off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve woke slowly. His body awakened first. The aches of his recent ‘adventures’ called his limbs and more particularly his ribs into unhappy wakefulness. He laid there, his eyes closed, struggling to reconcile his dreams with the sensations he felt on waking. For so many months he had dreamed of waking with Danny wrapped around him. Yet right at this moment he was afraid to open his eyes for the fear that, as had so often happened before, Danny would dissolve in puff of consciousness. Steve moved his arm gently, fingertips tracing over skin he had wanted to touch for so long. His brow furrowed as his fingers touched the soft whorls of golden hair. Never before had his dream been so realistic, so tangible to his fingers. 

His hand closed around hard, warm muscle and his eyes snapped open. This was new. Usually he woke with his fingertips tangled in the gentle scratch of imaginary golden curls. His fingertips could feel the warmth of the muscle under his arm. They trailed lightly over the soft skin and a gentle smile curved his lips as he did. The dream had been real. Rather last night hadn’t been a dream; he had been wrapped in Danny’s arms most of the night. Danny’s strong arm was still loosely wrapped around his waist, the fingers tucked lightly under the elastic of his sleep pants. Steve grinned and pressed an open mouthed kiss to the tousled mess of his partner’s hair.

“Are you going to keep tickling me?” Danny’s sleepy voice came with puffs of warm moist air against his chest. “Don’t deny it, I can feel you there all smug and gleeful.”

“Gleeful?” Steve asked, “Is that even a word?”

“Wouldn’t be using it if it wasn’t.” Danny murmured and then tilting his head he let the tip of his tongue trail across Steve’s exposed pectoral muscle.

“And you want me to stop tickling you?” Steve rolled slightly, aligning their bodies more closely, his arms tightening around his partner. “Do last night’s rules still stand?”

“Rules?” Danny inclined his head to look into Steve’s face.

“You said we weren’t to start anything.” Steve murmured, and then pressed his lips against Danny’s forehead.

“It’s not a good idea, Steven.” Danny pressed his face against Steve’s chest, revelling in the soft scratchiness of Steve’s chest hair against his stubbly cheek. “We’ve got a lot of crap we need to sort out.”

“Do you love me?” Steve asked softly, he pressed his chin against the back of Danny’s head, hiding his face.

“What sort of a question is that?” Danny tried to tilt his head back but stopped by Steve’s tight hold.

“Apparently too difficult for you.” 

“I can hear the hurt in your voice right now, Steven.” Danny sighed, “That is why this isn’t a good idea. What if I’ve done something that will hurt you badly? Months down the path you find out. How do you think that will feel? This is only the first day.”

“Danny, for God’s sake, you could be an axe murderer, I know you.” He grabbed the hand that was laying on his hip and moved it to press against his rapidly beating heart. “I know I’m crap at all of this stuff, but I can tell you that I know you in here. Nothing you can do or say is going to change how I feel about you.”

Danny inhaled deeply and moved to lean on his elbow, looking into Steve’s face as he answered.

“Babe, you don’t know that. You’ve never been married; you don’t know that I won’t hurt you. I don’t know that you won’t hurt me. That’s why we have to talk about things.”

“I don’t need that.” Steve leaned into Danny and cupped his face with his long fingers, his thumb caressing Danny’s bottom lip. “All I need is you.”

Danny pushed Steve’s hand away from his face and rolled onto his back.

“For Fuck’s sake, Steven, what has happened to you?”

“What do you mean?” Steve frowned.

“I’ve known you, GI Joe, for almost four years, and this is the first time you’ve ever opened up like this. What the fuck happened to you over there? Or is it me?”

Steve rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling before he threw his arm over his face.

“To be honest I really don’t want to talk about it.” Steve muttered into his forearm.

“Babe I can’t help you if you can’t talk about it.”

“You’ve changed my life Danny.” Steve murmured, his voice barely audible.

“Clearly.” Danny chuckled, turning his head to look at Steve’s profile. “Oahu is still in existence even after four years. Without me you would have blown it up in the first twelve months.”

“Ha, fucking, Ha. Williams.” 

“Well you do carry grenades in your pocket.” Danny shrugged.

“Not anymore.” Steve rolled his head and watched Danny’s face closely. “You tend to reassess things when someone who you’ve always considered to be family tries to kill you.”

“What?”

“Joe.” Steve shrugged, “He tried to kill me.”

“I’m sorry I ever brought him back into your life.” Danny slowly caressed Steve’s chest, feeling his heart beating erratically under his hand.

“It’s not your fault, he’s been using me from the time I was fifteen, maybe earlier, if it hadn’t been the Governor’s death it would have been something else.”

“Maybe, but I can’t help but feel responsible.” Danny shrugged.

“DON’T!” Steve barked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.” He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes trying to compose himself. 

“Babe.” Danny shuffled closer on the bed, and pushed his hand through Steve’s hair, his fingertips gently caressing the larger man’s scalp then trailing lower across his face. “I really want to let this go. I know how much this is hurting you, but somehow I don’t think you’ll be able to deal with what happened unless you talk about it.”

“I was weak, D.” Steve sighed, and turned his face into Danny’s hand. “I should have seen it coming. I should have known. I should have realised my mother and Joe were playing me, playing the whole family. Fuck, they’d probably been doing it my whole life.”

“You were a kid, babe.” Danny suggested.

“It’s no excuse. I should have seen it. At least I’ve had a life. Dad wasted away here and was killed by my vendetta. Mary has been fucked up since she was ten years old.”  


“How much of your life really was a life?” Danny shook his head. “You spent your adult life taking life, and that eats you up a little bit every time you think about it. Don’t even think about lying to me, I see it every time you’ve had to kill in the line of duty. Your family crap, it has nothing to do with you.”

“I may as well have pulled the trigger on my father myself.” Steve whispered, “I’ve spent years either ignoring or baling Mary out. I loved, no, I love my sister, but I haven’t really been her brother for a long time.”

“That is a psych analysis for another day, babe.” Danny leaned in and pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead, “What did Joe do?”

“Tried to kill me.” Steve shrugged again. 

“We’ve established that, what did he do?”

“We were in a car together, with one of Joe’s Japanese military cronies, driving back from Doris’ supposed grave. It was a winding mountain road. I didn’t really pick my time well. I was arguing with him. I told him that I was going to have that grave opened and the body exhumed. I want the DNA matched to Doris.”

“That’s a fair enough path to follow.” Danny nodded.

“Joe took exception to that.”

“He would.” 

“I was so caught up in the fact that the corpse wasn’t going to be my mother that I didn’t even notice that Yashihara, Joe’s buddy, had drawn his pistol, it was a nice piece, Springfield XD .45, I remember thinking that I’d like one for my collection.”

“Only you could find time to appreciate the weapon of a person about to do you harm.” Danny shook his head.

Steve ignored Danny’s words as if he hadn’t even heard him. He stared blankly over Danny’s shoulder as he continued to speak.

“Joe was driving and Yashihara was sitting behind me. I struggled with him, and as we fought, Joe somehow opened my car door. The gun went off. I could feel it as it hit the side of my face, I could feel the blood on my face so I knew it hit, but I couldn’t afford to let go of the bastard.” Steve paused his eyes closing, his lashes damp. Danny ached to tell him to stop remembering. To stop telling him what a bastard Joe White really was. Danny had long suspected it but had discounted the facts he could see, for the simple fact that as painful as this was, it was ultimately going to be cathartic for his partner.

“I was struggling with him. Joe reached over and unclipped my seat belt. He was driving and he helped to push me out.” He paused, struggling to find the words to finish his recounting. “I couldn’t hold on, Danny.”

Danny couldn’t withhold his need any longer. He scooched up close to Steve and closed his arms around him. One hand cupping the back of his head and holding him close to his shoulder. He could feel the moisture of Steve’s silent tears but in deference to Steve’s normal stoic disposition he didn’t acknowledge them. 

“If I ever see that bastard again I’m going to kill him.” Danny vowed against Steve’s hair.

“Not worth it.” 

“What happened then?” Danny asked gently as Steve lapsed into silence, his hands absently stroking Danny’s back.

“I fell a good fifty feet down the side of a cliff, I did my best to tuck and roll but lost a mile of skin, busted some ribs, cracked my head, nothing much.”

“Of course it was. Jesus they could have killed you.”

“But they didn’t.” Steve shrugged. “I was lucky, a ledge broke my fall, otherwise it was another hundred feet straight into the Pacific.” He paused. “They came back to check. I could hear them talking, apparently they thought I was dead. Broken on the rocks and washed under and dragged out to sea in the undertow.”

“Surely, Joe would have been keeping a lookout for you.”

“Which is why I caught a fishing boat to a nearby island, sourced new ID and came home on a route that wouldn’t be followed.”

“Why would Joe do that to you?” Danny asked, his lips pressing soft kisses against Steve’s skin.

“Because I’m a pain in his ass. He thought I’d die on a mission and he’d be rid of me. But I fucked that up, I was too good at my job to die. He actually said he made sure I got the suicide missions so he could be rid of me.”

Danny swallowed the retort that he wanted to make in favour of tightening his arms around Steve. His silence more than spoke of his animosity for the older man. He was so deeply caught up in his own head, Steve almost threw him out of bed when he sat bolt upright and struggled with his legs tangled in the sheet to get out of bed.

“What the fuck?” he exclaimed as he struggled to maintain his balance on the edge of the mattress.

“Mary!” Steve exclaimed. “What if he’s going to go after Mary. And Joan. Jesus she has a baby now. What if he hurts the baby?”

“Steve?” Danny slipped out of bed and walked around the bed to clasp him by the biceps, forcing him to still. “We’ll fix it.” He looked up into Steve’s face and held his gaze until he could see that Steve had stopped the blind panic he was in.

“She’s the only one I have left, D.” Steve’s eyes were wide with his fear for his sister.

“And Joe knows that she’s a flake. He thinks that she’s too stupid to know any better. But we know differently. She’s brave, strong and resourceful, remember what she did to that Yakuza? She knows if anything happens she’ll get out and she knows she can come to me, and even better? She doesn’t trust Joe. She’ll be fine until morning and in the morning I’ll find a way to get her to come and live here, with Joan. That way we’ll all be easy to keep safe.”

“I’m sorry I’ve dropped the ball, D.” Steve flopped down onto the bed, his dejection evident in every inch of his posture.

“I call bullshit. You’ve dropped nothing. You’ve stayed alive when your surrogate father tried to kill you. You worried about everyone else but yourself. Cut yourself some slack, SuperSEAL.”

“I can’t afford to be slack. He’s targeting my family. How do I know he hasn’t already hurt Mary and Joan? How do I know he won’t come after you and Grace?” Steve threw himself backwards on the bed, his arms flung over his head like a huge starfish.

“Because if he does we’ll be ready for him.” Danny countered, “Since when have you been such an agony aunt?”

“Since he tried to kill me.” Steve shrugged, “I should just go back up into the mountains, let him think I’m dead.”

“Like hell.” Danny spat. “You’re staying here. With me.”

“That’s a bad call, D.” 

“What have you lot been telling me since I got here?” Danny started then waved his hands in the air, “You know what? Just stop it, we’re family or Ohana or whatever the fuck you want to call it. You are not doing this alone.”

“Danny?” Steve looked up at him, his eyes filled with pain, sadness and just a little bit of hope.

“What?” Danny snapped.

“Can we just get back to the part where we are kissing?” Steve asked, his voice almost tremulous with uncertainty. 

Danny opened his mouth to speak and couldn’t. He just looked at Steve blankly before he kneeled on the bed beside him and carefully straddled the larger man’s hips. Leaning forward, he placed his hands on either side of Steve’s head and let gravity do the rest.

“What the fuck am I going to do with you?” Danny whispered against Steve’s cheek.

“Kiss me?” Steve questioned. He craned his head up, his lips chasing Danny’s as Danny, fully aware of what he was doing ghosted soft kisses along Steve’s stubbled jawline.  


“Maybe I like to tease.” Danny murmured, his lips closing on Steve’s earlobe and flicking the flesh with his tongue. “And don’t think I don’t know what you did here.” He chastised.  


“For fuck’s sake, D, just kiss me.” Steve moaned as Danny’s lips trailed down his neck, his tongue traced across the scar on Steve’s collarbone, kissing it wetly with and open mouth, his tongue lathing at it wetly.

“All in good time, Steven, all in good time.” Danny trailed his tongue through the sparse spread of coarse hair on Steve’s chest towards his nipple. His tongue flicking over the pert nub quickly, before he closed his teeth and tugged gently. His lips curved into a smile at the unrestrained response from his partner. Steve’s mouth fell open, a long lascivious groan falling from his lips as his hands fisted in the rumpled sheets. “You like that, huh?”

“Don’t know how you can fucking ask that, you tease.” Steve growled, his hands lifting to clasp Danny’s head and pull his face towards his own.

“Impatient, much?” Danny quirked an eyebrow, not resisting in the slightest.

Steve couldn’t answer, the moment Danny’s words breathed against his lips, Steve’s mouth was open, his tongue flicking out to trace Danny’s lips. Lapping at the skin with the tip of his tongue, tracing the puffy skin lightly, seeking entrance but not willing to enter without permission, licking slowly back and forth, tasting and teasing but not yet able to take control.

Pulling back slightly, Danny looked into Steve’s eyes, holding his weight on one arm he lifted the other hand to run his thumb across Steve’s swollen lower lip, his palm cupping his face gently.

“You play dirty, McGarrett.” Danny murmured.

“I don’t see you complaining.” 

“I’m not complaining, merely telling you that our first time is not going to be some glorified rubbing off against each other, while you’re in pain, and I’m worried about hurting you.”

“You’re not going to hurt me.” Steve huffed as he nuzzled his face against Danny’s hand.

“That’s right, I’m not.” Danny leaned in to press a teasing kiss to Steve’s forehead, the movement pressing their lower bodies closer together, drawing a gasp of longing from each of them. “Ask me why not, Steven.”

“Because we’re not doing this now?” Steve asked on a sigh.

“I said ask, Steve.” Danny answered, punctuating his words with tiny kisses trailed across Steve’s shadowed jaw. “But since you answered so nicely, and more to the point correctly, I’ll explain why.” He let his hips rock forward, their mutual erections rubbing firmly against each other. The movement did nothing to ease the growing ache for the satisfaction that only the other could give. “Our first time I don’t want to have to worry about where to touch you or if that touch is going to hurt.” He leaned in to press an open mouthed kiss to Steve’s eager lips. “It’s killing me to wait, especially since you’re such a horny bastard, and apparently can’t take no for an answer, but….” Danny’s voice trailed off as Steve’s hand trailed between them and pressed firmly on his dick, his thumb scraping across the damp spot at his tip. “But.” He cleared his throat. “When we do I want there to be fireworks, I want you to be writhing under me, desperate to get me inside you. Aching to fuck each other just as we’ve wanted since day, fucking one.” Danny thrust into Steve’s hand, his breath coming harshly as he struggled to maintain even one strand of the control that he thought he had.

“Danny?” Cath’s voice called from downstairs.

Danny dropped his head to rest in the sweaty curve of Steve’s shoulder, his hips pushing into Steve’s hand as he struggled to slow his breathing.

“Be down in a minute, Cath.” He called loudly. 

“Okay.” She responded.

“Fuck.” Danny hissed, “That puts paid to this then.” He dropped a soft lingering kiss to Steve’s lips before he rolled back to stand beside the bed, his hand dropping to cover his erection willing it to fade.

“I could take care of that for you.” Steve licked his lips enticingly as he pulled himself to a seated position, his own cock tenting his soft cotton pants lewdly.

“Yes because having Cath find us with my dick in your mouth is on my top ten list of things I want to happen today.” Danny snarked at him even as he caught his face in his hands and kissed him wetly.

“I didn’t realise you were such a kinky boy.” Steve leered at him, long arms reaching to pull him closer and back into an embrace.

Danny pulled away, ostensibly to gather his clothes, but realistically to get out of Steve’s embrace so his libido could take a back seat to his common sense. “Seriously, babe, do you want her to know you’re here, or are we going with the you’re dead thing until we walk out what to do about White?”

“She knows I’m back, we may as well let her know and Chin.” Steve twisted to look at Danny, “What about Grace, can she keep a secret well enough that we can tell her?” Steve stood and walked over to where Danny was slipping a tee-shirt over his head. “I don’t want her to think that I’m dead, I know how much it hurts I don’t want to put her through that unnecessarily.”

“We can talk about that after we’ve dealt with Cath.” Danny leaned up for one final kiss. “I’ll go and stall her, come down when you’re ready.” He looked pointedly at Steve’s tented pants.

Danny left the room and trotted lithely down the stairs, hitting the landing over his head with a hand as he did. He glanced around the room and headed off through the den and through the open doors to the lanai. Slipping on his slippahs he tread across the grass avoiding the tiny seed pods that only ever seemed to catch him out.

“What’s up Cath?” he spoke softly as he approached her.

“Nothing.” She shrugged. “I just wanted to check on you, see if Steve had come home yet.”

“He’s back.” Danny nodded.

“Did you talk?” 

“Yes.”

“And? God it’s worse than getting information out of him.”

“We’re giving things a try.” Danny responded slowly, not at all sure how to broach the subject with Cath.

Cath looked up at him, closely examining his face before her jaw dropped and she stood.

“Oh My God, I interrupted, didn’t I?” she babbled.

“Yes.” Danny grinned, beyond amused at her reaction.

“I’m so, so sorry.” She reached over and hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she did. “Please, go back to him. I’ll let myself out. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be stupid Catherine.” Steve spoke as he walked across the grass towards them. Danny’s mouth went dry as he watched. Barefoot, in low slung yoga pants and one of those ridiculously cut Navy SEAL tee-shirts Danny thought that Steve was hotter than any Victoria’s Secret model had ever been.

“You two really need some time together.” Cath apologised, “I’ll come back later, tomorrow, next week. Just carry on what you were doing.”

“We need to talk to you seriously for a little bit, Cath.”

“That sounds serious,” Cath responded, “and maybe even a little ominous.”

“It is.” Danny nodded, he gestured for Cath to precede him and the three of them walked across the grass to sit on the benches on the lanai.

“Joe thinks I’m dead.” Steve started to explain without preamble.

“We knew that already.” Cath shrugged.

“But we want him to continue to think that.” Danny finished for her.

“What is that going to prove?” she frowned. 

“Hopefully it will flush Doris out and we will find out what they’re up to.”

“What do you need me to do?” Cath nodded thoughtfully. “What about Gracie?”

“We’re going to decide what to do about her soon, I don’t want to hurt her.” Steve answered solemnly.

They talked for a few more minutes, but after that Cath left, and Steve was banished to the bedroom to nap, despite the fact that bad assed Navy SEALs don’t require naps, leaving Danny to potter around the house and work up the courage to call Rachel. In the haze of lust that was rapidly engulfing them, Danny had almost forgotten that he needed to confess to Steve about the night he had spent with Cath. He had almost convinced himself that he didn’t need to tell Steve. After all they weren’t together when it had happened, and Steve had effectively severed his ties with Cath, so they weren’t really cheating on him. But Danny couldn’t help feeling like they were. It wasn’t as if Steve was a blushing virgin, and he hadn’t seen the need to discuss his prior partners with Danny, so why is it that Danny wanted to blurt out all his youthful dalliances and even his serious entanglements. Why? Because Danny had long suspected that despite his constant flirtation and the willingness of both genders to throw themselves at his partners feet, that Steve simply didn’t do casual. Sure he might play at casual with Cath, but even while they were ‘casual’ he was as faithful to her as he possibly could be. Hell, Steve’s partners could probably be counted on just one hand if the truth were to be discovered. The more Danny thought about it, the more he felt like some sort of slut next to his partner. Wandering out across the lawn, Danny sank down into one of the Adirondacks and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Rachel.” He greeted his ex-wife warmly as she answered his call on the first ring.

“Daniel, how are you today? Is something wrong?”

“No, well yes. But I’m fine. Can you talk?”

“Certainly, I’m driving, I’ve just dropped Grace at school.”

“Could you possibly come to Steve’s house?” he asked.

“I’ll be there in less than five minutes.” She acknowledged and let the call go dead.

Danny walked around to the front of the house and when she pulled into the driveway, Danny moved to the side of the car and opened the door for her.

“This is all very mysterious, Daniel, are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine, but Steve has a problem.”

“Besides how he feels about you?” Rachel looked at him sideways as they walked around the side of the house and back towards the beachside chairs.

“Seriously?”

“It’s not like it’s a secret, Daniel, the whole island knows exactly how you BOTH feel.”

Danny gestured for her to take a seat and waited for her to sit before he spoke.

“A couple of days ago.” Christ Danny thought as he spoke, was that only two days? “Joe White turned up here and advised Cath and myself that Steve was missing, presumed dead.”

“Oh My God, Danny, I’m so sorry.” Rachel started to stand to go to her ex-husband and console him but Danny waved her back.

“He’s not. We found out later that night that not only he wasn’t dead, but that Joe had tried to kill him.”

“That’s dreadful, I never liked that man.”  
“Upshot is, Steve’s alive, Downside is that we have to keep up the charade to try and flush him out and see what he’s up to.”

“And you want to tell Grace he’s dead, don’t you?”

“See I always said you were very astute.” Danny nodded, “but he doesn’t want to do it if it will hurt her.”

“Of course it will hurt her. She loves him. Sometimes I think she loves him more than she does Stanley.”

“I know that and I’m almost certain that the feeling is reciprocated two fold.” Danny sighed. “He wants to tell her. That, however, would depend on her being able to act her way through any situation that arises for as long as it is necessary. As much as I love our daughter, I really don’t think that she has that type of skill in her acting repertoire.”

“I think you’re right, Daniel.” Rachel pursed her lips as she considered the issue. “I believe that it would be best to have her in the dark. Too much would rest on her shoulders and I don’t think she needs that type of pressure at her age. I know there will be hurt the other way but it can’t be helped. Not if you want to keep everyone safe.”

“Thank you, Rach.” Danny leaned across to hug her tightly. “You don’t know how much it means to me that we can work together on things like this.”

“It is rather gratifying, isn’t it?” she grinned at him and hugged him close before pulling back. “When do you want to tell her?”

“Maybe tomorrow? Cath and I will come over and we’ll explain it to her.”

Rachel stood and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see myself out Daniel. Now go upstairs and kiss your boyfriend.”

“My what?” Danny spluttered as he stood and followed Rachel across the yard.

“Your boyfriend, you know, the person you have pledged your troth to.”

“Who even says that any more?” Danny snapped as he rounded the corner of the house. “Seriously? How did you know?”

“You’re kidding me?” Rachel turned to look at him aghast. “Your contented glow can be seen from space when you’re in a relationship, Daniel.”

“I’m not that transparent.” He responded as they reached the side of Rachel’s car.

“You just keep telling yourself that, Darling.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek as she slipped into the driver’s seat.

Danny stepped back from the car as she started it and waved as she backed out of the driveway. As Rachel’s taillights disappeared from his sight, Danny walked back into the house. He wandered straight through to the kitchen and pottered about, making a pot of coffee and pouring himself a large mug. He sliced up a pineapple that Cath had left on the bench top a few days ago. He himself wouldn’t be caught dead eating it but Steve was too thin and he’d been home for at least twelve hours and Danny had yet to see him eat a mouthful of food. He didn’t understand the big Neanderthal’s attraction to the stupid fruit but if it meant he was eating then far be it from Danny’s sensibilities to withhold that from him. He popped the chopped fruit into the freezer and pulled out a peppermint pattie that he devoured while he finished his coffee. 

A bowl of chilled pineapple in his hand and two bottles of water in his other he set off back to the bedroom. Steve had been asleep for a little over three hours, time Danny considered to rouse him for some sustenance and medication. Opening the bedroom door nearly took his breath away. Steve was sprawled on the bed face down, his yoga pants riding just low enough that they barely covered the slight curve of his ass, the golden expanse of his back bare and even as scraped and bruised as it was, it was still perfect. One arm at his side, the other pushed under the pillow that was folded in half and bunched under his head, it was all Danny could do to not crawl straight back into that bed. Placing his load on the bedside table, Danny walked through into the bathroom and pulled a couple of stronger than over the counter painkillers from the medicine chest. Steve might think he was invincible but until he had to start protecting himself again, he was under Danny’s care, and that included sucking up the masochist ‘I’m not in too much pain’ bullshit that he normally operated under and was staying medicated.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Danny brushed Steve’s short hair back and leaned in to press his lips against his forehead.

“C’mon tough guy.” Danny murmured against his ear.

“Mmmm?” Steve mumbled, turning his head a little towards Danny.

Danny dipped his fingers into the bowl on the bedside table and lifted out a bite sized chunk of pineapple, he rubbed the juicy morsel against Steve’s lips. An arrow of desire shot straight to Danny’s dick as he watched Steve’s tongue poke from between his parted lips to flick against the sweet fruit. Danny pressed the pineapple closer to his lips and was rewarded when Steve opened his mouth and caught the fruit in his teeth, sucking it into his mouth and chewing it slowly.

“Good?” Danny asked softly, the fingers of his non pineapple hand carding through Steve’s hair.

“Mmmm.” Steve’s sleep addled affirmation was almost enough to make Danny say to hell with their resolution.

“Want some more?”

“ ‘m not Grace.” Steve mumbled, his eyes still closed.

“If you were my current thoughts would be highly inappropriate.”

“ewww.”

“I didn’t think you were, Babe. I just want to take care of you for a bit. Let me?” Danny lifted another piece of pineapple and repeated the process, this time not flinching as his thumb strayed too close to Steve’s teeth.

“ ‘M’kay.” Steve responded sleepily.

“You will be.” Danny promised.


	8. Chapter 8

It was night time before Steve truly woke, he’d spent the time Danny fed him the pineapple in that vague hazy place between waking and sleeping. Danny had fed him the bowl of pineapple and dropped the pills into his mouth, following them with almost a bottle of water. He watched Steve stumble his way to the bathroom and use the head, before he helped him get settled back in bed, even going so far as lying down with him and opening his arms to his octopus like cuddle.

Danny hadn’t slept when he was laying there; he had been watching Steve closely, mentally cataloging his injuries, tightening his embrace when Steve stirred in his sleep. The rambled nonsense that tumbled from Steve’s lips silenced by gentle soothing and warm cuddles. The time spent watching Steve had proven one thing to Danny. He couldn’t keep the Cath thing a secret from Steve. He had to cope with so much, there was only so much that one man could deal with before he couldn’t cope with any of it. Danny wasn’t going to make himself the one that pushed Steve over the edge.

After Steve had woken, Danny shuffled an oddly compliant Steve off for a shower and went down to the kitchen to prepare a meal. Grilling a couple of chicken breasts and throwing together a salad, Danny set the table out on the lanai while he waited for the chicken to be cooked. His timing was perfect as Steve trotted down the stairs just as Danny was ferrying the food through to the lanai.

“Do me a favour Babe, grab a couple of beers?” he called over his shoulder as he saw Steve, dressed only in a pair of blue board shorts, standing on the bottom step.

“Sure.” Steve nodded, and walked in to extract two beers from the fridge and follow him out.

“Babe, this might be an odd question but why are you in those shorts?”

“I was going to go for a quick swim before dinner.” Steve answered as if Danny were asking crazy questions.

“It’s dark.” Danny stated.

“And the water is still wet.” Steve shrugged.

“No.”

“No?”

“You heard me.”

“Last time I looked you weren’t my mother.” And with that one statement, Danny’s resolve was gone.

“For me. Can you forgo tonight’s marathon? Just for me?”

“Fine.” Steve exhaled slowly, the anger he had felt at Danny’s instruction leaving him in that one breath.

“I’m sorry, babe, honestly, I just worry about you.” Danny shrugged as he leaned up to press a kiss to Steve’s cheek. “Forgive me?”

“Danny, I survived a long, long time before I met you. I think I can look after myself enough to muddle along for a swim.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship Babe, especially with another guy. I don’t mean to be clingy and God knows you’ve been looking after yourself admirably, but just this once let me be your guardian?”

“Will it make you happy?” Steve asked, suddenly understanding where Danny was coming from.

“You being safe? And whole? Yes.”

“Then have at it. I’m all yours.”

Danny walked into his arms and wrapped his own around Steve’s middle, nuzzling gently at his chest through his thin cotton tee-shirt.

“Dinners getting cold, Goofball.” Danny pulled himself out of Steve’s embrace and if their eyes were a little moister than normal it was nobody’s business but their own.

Dinner was a quiet affair, both of them eating in silence, sipping occasionally on their beer. Danny couldn’t help but worry about his partner, he usually ate like a beast at a pig trough, but tonight he was picking at his salad and by the time Danny was finished his chicken breast, Steve had barely gotten through half of his.

“I’ll give, whats wrong with the food?” Danny asked.

“Nothing I’m just not hungry.”

“I want you to answer me honestly Steven. Are you sick?

“Not sick, just not hungry. Besides I had all that pineapple not long ago.” Steve shrugged.

“That was two slices of pineapple and that was more than 6 hours ago.” Danny corrected him. “Promise me I don’t have to worry about you being sick and hiding it from me?”

“I’m not sick, Danny, I swear on my own life that I feel fine, just achy and tired.”

“Okay. I’m going to believe you. Thousands wouldn’t. In fact anyone that knew you wouldn’t.”

“I’m not that bad.” Steve pouted.

Danny stood and stacked their plates together and moved to go inside, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s head as he did. “Have you even listened to yourself?” Danny chuckled. “I’ll be back, do you want a cup of tea while I’m in there?”

Steve pondered the question for a moment and then nodded. “Thanks, want me to come help?”

“No. I’m good.” Danny set off to the kitchen.

“I’d like to find that out.” Steve murmured just loud enough for him to hear.

Danny smiled at that statement as he cleared the plates and left them in the sink. He boiled the kettle and while he was waiting he poured himself a cup of coffee from the warmed pot. Once the tea was steeped and milked to his satisfaction, just as Steve liked it, strongly brewed with just a splash of low fat milk, the cup jiggled slightly to let the milk filter through the tea, he carried both beverages out to the lanai.

He set the tea down in front of Steve and took his own coffee to sit directly opposite, both of them sat there silently drinking their beverages.

“What do you want to talk to me about, Danny?” Steve asked softly, “Is it about Cath?”

“What makes you say that?” Danny’s eyes narrowed as he answered.

“You just about busted a nut this morning trying to get away from me so she didn’t catch us in flagrante delicto, and you were both really weird with each other.”

“I don’t want anyone to catch us in bed together, you moron.” Danny blurted out quickly. He then took a deep breath and continued, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I meant what I said, D.” Steve reached a hand over the table and clasped one of Danny’s in his own. “I don’t care what you have done. Your past is none of my business.”

“It should be.” Danny looked him in the eye and wouldn’t break his gaze. “Will you answer me honestly if I ask you a question? And not hit me with that classified bullshit.”

“I’ll try. It depends on the question you ask.” Steve didn’t look away.

“Have you been with many people?”

Steve closed his eyes and opened them slowly. “Why is that important?”

“I just want to know, I want to know if you understand what I’m talking about when I explain this to you.”

“I still don’t see how it’s relevant.” Steve shook his head, his brow furrowed.

“Let’s break it down a little then.” Danny suggested. “You’re a good looking guy, good personality, surely a hit with both sexes. You’re in the Navy so let’s follow the cliché. Have you been with more than a hundred partners?”

“I’m not a fucking gigolo Danny.” Steve yelped.

“Didn’t say you were, Babe.” Danny cajoled him, “But we needed somewhere to start.”

“Who the fuck does that?” Steve’s eyebrows pushed closer together as his frown deepened.

“Matty, he did, he was proud of his bed notches.” Danny explained. “Let’s try again, more than fifty?”

“Hell no, I’m not a slut either. I wouldn’t do that to women….or men.”

“I didn’t say that you were.” Danny soothed him. “I’m just trying to work out your experience.”

“Why is that important to you?” Steve frowned.

“Stop frowning babe, it’s not really that important to me and if you don’t want to tell me, then I’ll stop asking, it just makes it easier for me to know how to explain my past to you.

And I want to explain my history.”

Steve sat there for a long moment considering what Danny had just said to him. “Okay.” He nodded.

“So, more than twenty?”

“Again, what sort of a prick do you think I am?”

“I’ll take that as a no. Let’s try this a different way. Could you count them on more than the fingers of both hands?”

Steve shook his head.

“More than one hand?” 

Steve ducked his head, looking at his fingers on the table, Danny watched him closely seeing his head tilt almost imperceptibly.

“Steven?” Danny probed gently.

“It’s five okay.” He growled out and pushed back from the table, stalking down to the beachfront, stopping as his feet hit the water.

Danny was struck dumb by the SEAL’s sudden retreat. Sliding quickly from the bench he followed him down to the water’s edge.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It is kind of special knowing that there are true gentlemen left in the world.”

“I don’t need platitudes Danny.” Steve stepped further away from Danny’s touch.

“It’s not a platitude.”

“Just because I’m supposedly good looking I’m supposed to have sown my oats far and wide? I know I’m the one that you all consider to be casual and not to give a fuck about other people, but I wouldn’t like that done to me, why would I be so laissez fair as that with anyone else? I don’t do permanent easily, but I don’t fucking jump from bed to bed.”

“Hey calm down.” Danny stepped closer and put a hand on Steve’s back. “I wanted to know how many partners you’ve had, not so that I could denigrate you, but so I could explain to you about me. I’m in the high range. Less than a football team, more than both hands. My point is that I might not have been casual, I don’t do one night stands, but I’ve been around.”

“I told you, D, I don’t care.” Steve turned to look at him. “Your past is none of my business. All I need to know is that you will be faithful while we are together.”

“Always. But that isn’t my point.” Danny murmured. “I want you to know, no I need you to know that Cath and I slept together while you were away.” He looked into Steve’s eyes and refused to look away.

“Do you love her too?” Steve asked, his bottom lip trembling minutely, no one would have seen it but Danny knew him too well.

“Of course not. I have affection for her of course. But love? Not even close. But she was hurting because you had dear Johnned her, and I was hurt because I was sure you knew how I felt about you yet you were pushing me at her. We were together and attracted and I’m sure a little piece of both of us wanted to hurt you just a little bit. It happened. We regretted it in the morning, and it will never happen again. Even if we,” he gestured between the two of them, “hadn’t gotten together that was never going to happen again.”

Steve stood there, his bottom lip caught in his teeth, mulling over what Danny had just said to him. His frown deepened before he closed his eyes and opened them again, inhaling deeply.

“Like I said Danny, I don’t care. I really don’t, I just want you.” He paused, “I love you, D, seems like I have forever, I believe you. Your past doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me. I didn’t really want to hurt you.”

“I know.” Steve nodded.

“You just frustrate me so much. You won’t ever do for the good of Steve, it’s always for the good of everyone else in your life. Yourself you don’t give a shit about.”

“That’s not true,” Steve started to stay but Danny interrupted him.

“No of course it’s not.” Danny confirmed, “You’re only of import after every other human life form is taken care of, and then sometimes the animal life forms are given higher priority than you.”

“That’s my sworn duty.” Steve shrugged.

“Fuck your duty.” Danny growled stepping closer in to Steve’s personal space. “Do you know what it does to me to see you hurt? To see you putting yourself in harm’s way?”

“I can’t help it Danny, I’m trained to do that.” Steve reached out and put his hand on the back of Danny’s neck and reeled him in closer. “I have you. I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

“Babe, I’m sure that is true, but your idea of stupid and a normal mortal’s idea of stupid are really two opposite ends of the goof spectrum.” He let his hand caress Steve’s chest lightly. “You know that right?”

“I know. I take minimal risk, I really am very well trained, love.”

“I know that. Wait, what did you call me?” Danny’s eyes widened as he realised what Steve had said.

Steve frowned as he thought back to what he had said. “I’m sorry, it slipped out.” 

“I like it.” Danny leaned into his embrace and kissed him slowly, his mouth sliding wetly over Steve’s mobile lips.

“We should talk about work too.” Steve reluctantly stated as he pulled away from Danny’s kisses.

“What about it?” Danny frowned.

“Denning nearly chewed me a new asshole for hiring Cath, since we have a ‘personal’ relationship, I’m guessing he’s going to slip off the rails when he finds out we’re together.”

“Does he need to find out?” Danny asked.

“I don’t want to tell him.” Steve shrugged but it was written all over his face what he would have to do.

“But that fucking honor code you live by means we have to tell him.”

“I’m sorry D.” Steve let his fingers brush through Danny’s soft hair. “Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if you hadn’t been given my dad’s case.”

“I know what mine would be like.” Danny leaned into Steve’s body, “Absolute crap.”

“Is it bedtime?” Steve murmured.

“Only for sleeping.” Danny responded, “You need to rest, and honestly, so do I, I have to go and tell my little girl tomorrow that her Uncle Steve is dead.”

“You don’t have to tell her that.” Steve tightened his grip on Danny.

“Yes, I do, I discussed it with Rachel, and it’s for the best if we’re going to outsmart White.”

“She’ll be devastated, I know what it’s like, D. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“No she doesn’t but once we’ve gotten to the bottom of all this crap no one will have to look over their shoulders again. In the long run it will help and she will understand that.”

~@~@~@~@~

Morning came faster than either man was prepared for. They had retired together, almost platonically, but during the night both men had gravitated toward each other, each waking multiple times during the long night hours. Steve’s sleep was fractured by nightmares, Danny’s by his almost psychic connection to his partner. The first couple of times, Steve woke loudly, batting away unseen assailants in his sleep, Danny struggling to keep him from hurting either of them, then he seemed to barely sleep at all in deference to not disturbing Danny’s sleep. In the end they unconsciously seemed to wrap themselves around each other and that solved their sleeping conundrum. So what if Steve was Danny’s little spoon. 

Before he left the house Danny left a bowl of chopped fruit and a bottle of water beside the bed, pressed a soft kiss to his still sleeping partners forehead and set off to break his little girl’s heart. He collected Cath on the way to Rachel’s house, both of them subdued and sombre by what they were about to do. When Rachel answered the door she ushered them both into the living room.

“Grace, darling, could you come down here for a moment?” she called up the stairs.

“Coming Mom.” Grace called as she barrelled down the stairs, her face split into a wide grin as she noticed her father and Cath in the living room.

“Danno!” she yelled excitedly, “Aunt Cath!” she threw herself into Danny’s tight hug.

“Monkey we have something we need to tell you.” He pulled her arms from around her neck and settled her more comfortably on his knee.

“What’s wrong, Danno?” Grace put her hand on her father’s shoulder, her little face pinched into a worried frown. Danny wondered for the millionth time if this was not a very, very bad idea and he was forever damning his beautiful Monkey to the same life that her favourite uncle had endured.

“We have some bad news for you, sweetheart.” Danny started to speak.

“Uncle Steve?” Grace murmured her bottom lip trembling.

“Why would you say that Gracie?” Cath reached over and slipped her hand around Grace’s.

“Because one day Uncle Steve visited me, and he told me that sometimes he has to go away. Not because he wants to, but because he needs to keep the island safe for me and all of my friends. He said that when he goes away he sometimes has to do dangerous things and if he didn’t come back it wasn’t because he doesn’t love me, it’s because he loves me so much he had to stay there to make sure that I stay safe. So if that happens I’m not supposed to be sad, I’m supposed to remember how much we love him.”

“He’s a very wise man.” Cath nodded sagely, her thumb stroking the back of Grace’s hand, her own eyes welling with tears.

Danny hugged Grace into a tight bear hug, so tight that she wriggled to get loose. “Danno, you’re squishing me.”

“That’s what we’re here to tell you.” Tears trickled from his eyes as he spoke.

“He’s not coming home is he?” 

“No Gracie, he’s not.” Cath responded as Danny rested his head on Grace’s shoulder unable to respond to her question.

Grace sat on her father’s knee, her face pinched in consternation as she struggled to understand what she had just been told.

Both adults were astonished when Grace lifted her free hand to press it under her father’s chin and lift his face enough so that she could look into his face.

“Uncle Steve wouldn’t want you to be sad, Danno.” She stated solemnly and hugged her Danno tightly, all the while squeezing Aunt Cath’s hand. “He is keeping us all safe. That’s what he does.” She nodded against her father’s hair.

The three of them clung like that for some time, until Danny pulled back. Setting his daughter on the ground he straightened her top and smoothed her braids.

“When did my little girl get to be so brave and so smart?” he asked.

“I’m not brave. Uncle Steve is brave. You and aunt Cath and Uncle Chin and Aunt Kono are brave. I just know that I don’t have to be brave because Uncle Steve is stopping the bad men from hurting all of us.”

“That he is, Monkey, that he is.” Danny leaned forward, and catching his daughters head in his hands he pressed a loud smacking kiss on her forehead. “Are you okay?” he asked solemnly.

“Yes, Danno.” She nodded with equal solemnity.

“Can you go and find, Mom for us?” he asked.

Grace nodded and wiped at her still damp eyes with both hands and then darted off to find her mother.

“That went well.” Cath murmured, still stunned at the ease of the discussion.

“I should be pissed at him for putting the thought of one of us not coming back into her head.” Danny shook his head, “But I just can’t.”

“You know, we all say what an emotional wasteland he is but he’s really not.”

“I really don’t know what to do with that knowledge.” Danny stood and paced slowly. “I’ve always told him how stunted he is with kids, but he knows them better than I do sometimes.”

“Maybe because he’s been on the end of one of those chats, Danny.” Cath stood and moved to his side hugging him tightly.

“You wanted to see me, Daniel.” Her brow furrowed into a confused frown as she saw Cath hugging her ex-husband.

“I don’t know how to tell you this Rachel.” Danny started to speak.

“About the Commander?” Rachel asked quickly, noticing how badly Danny was struggling. “Grace has already told me.”

“We need to go and make the arrangements, I just wanted to let you know because Monkey is upset.”

“I’ll keep a close eye on her Daniel.” Rachel nodded and stepped closer to Danny, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’m sorry for your loss, he was a good man.”

“He was.” Danny agreed with her, pulling her into a tight hug, oddly soothed by her long elegant fingers gently stroking his back.

Grace moved closer to Cath and hugged her tightly around the hips, pressing her face to Cath’s belly.

“Don’t be sad, Aunt Cath. He wouldn’t want you sad.” She spoke her voice muffled by Cath’s tee shirt.

“I know, munchkin, I know.” Cath squatted down and returned Grace’s hug tightly.

Rachel stepped back from Danny and waited patiently for Grace. When Cath noticed she loosened her hold and Grace moved, she released her grip on her ‘aunt’ and swiped at a stray tear on her cheek. Smiling waterily at the adults, she walked to her mother’s side and slid her hand into Rachel’s.

“She’ll be fine, Daniel. Go and do what you need to do.” Rachel nodded subtly to Danny.

Danny leaned down to grip his daughter in one final hug before he turned and walked out of the house, closely followed by Cath. 

Once they were safely ensconced in the Camaro, Danny leaned his head back against the headrest and sighed. A few stray and unbidden tears leaked from the corners of his eyes as he struggled to realise just how close his daughter and his partner really were.

“You okay?” Cath asked. She reached across the centre console and stroked his knee gently.

“No. I really don’t think I am.” Danny sighed shakily.

“What’s wrong? Can I help?” she turned in her seat, her face filled with concern for him.

“I should have known that he was prepping her for his death,” Danny asked, “Shouldn’t I?”

“Maybe,” Cath shrugged, “Maybe he didn’t want you to know?”

“Why would he not want me to know?” Danny turned his head to look at her closely.

“Maybe he was thinking of it from his perspective.”

“He was being selfish?” Danny asked.

“I didn’t mean that.” Cath soothed him. “Maybe he knew how much losing you would hurt from his perspective. Maybe, just maybe, he was trying to make his loss easier on you.”

“I don’t know if I could survive his real death.” Danny answered.

Cath could hear the honesty in his voice and in all honesty she agreed with him. Steve and Danny were the living cliché. They were two halves of the one whole. Yin and Yang. Whatever you wanted to call it, they worked, they survived better as one unit rather than two individuals in the same orbit.

“If it ever happens, we’ll all hold each other together.” Cath looked out the window, herself unable to grasp the possibility of a world without Steve. Catching movement from the corner of her eye she noticed Grace standing in the parlour window, watching the car curiously.

“Danny, I think we need to move, before we frighten Grace some more.”

Looking up he waved in her direction with a wan smile and started the car, driving slowly out of the drive. They were silent for a long time as Danny just drove, with no particular destination, just trying to put some space between themselves and the painful conversation they had just had.

“Shall we get this over with?” Danny asked as they drove aimlessly down Kalakaua Avenue.

“What?” Cath answered without even turning her head away from the window.

“Go find out what we need to do since he’s missing?”

“I guess.” She shrugged.

“I want a memorial.” Danny mused, “A ceremony as well.”

“You do realise he’s not dead, right?” Cath turned to look at him closely.

“I know that.” Danny sighed and pulled the car into an empty space on the side of the road. “Look, we’re supposed to think he’s dead right? We would want a ceremony and somewhere to mourn him, wouldn’t we? I know I would.” He shrugged his shoulders and went to staring back out through the windscreen. 

“Why do I sense another motive in there somewhere?” Cath asked.

“Because he thinks he’s alone, yet he’s got the whole island that loves him. It won’t hurt for him to see just how many people do love him for what he does, for what he’s done.”

“Sneaky.” Cath smiled as she nodded.

“Sisters teach you all the good sneaky tricks.” Danny nodded as he put the car into gear and set off towards Pearl.


	9. Chapter 9

Four hours and long reams of paperwork later, Danny dropped Cath at Kono’s house and drove into the McGarrett driveway. He secured the car and trotted up the pathway eager to see how his partner had fared for the day.

What he didn’t expect as he slid his key in the lock was for the door to be yanked out of his grasp, or then being pulled inside the door as it slammed shut behind him.  
“Where have you been?” Steve’s voice was pained as his fingers traced Danny’s face and moved lower, across his arms and chest. “I’ve been worried sick.”

“Calm down, ninja.” Danny soothed. “I’m fine. See. Just fine.”

Steve stopped searching for injuries and paced to the other side of the room. “You’ve been gone for hours Danny.”

It was then Danny saw it. The absolutely blinding fear on Steve’s face that he had inadvertently done something to cause harm to Danny, the red rimmed eyes that proved to Danny just how all-consuming this man’s love was. The nervous shaking of his normally steady hands as he folded his arms and tucked his trembling fingers out of sight.

“Calm down, Babe.” Danny walked across the room to place his hands on Steve’s arms, his fingers warm around the goose-fleshed skin.

“I woke and I thought he had you.” Steve muttered. “I know it was completely ridiculous to think that, but you weren’t here and I couldn’t contact you and I didn’t know where the fuck you were and it’s stupid, but I thought I’d lost you.”

Danny looked at the completely stricken look on Steve’s face and nearly lost it himself. For four years he had watched this man lose person after person, be betrayed by everyone he loved and held dear, but he had never seen him fall to pieces like this. It was almost as if his tether to sanity had been severed and he didn’t know quite how to find his way back. In that moment Danny resolved never to let this happen to Steve again.

“Babe.” Danny pulled him into his arms and soothed him like he would a spooked animal. “You need to calm down. I’m here and I’m sorry, I didn’t think I’d be gone that long.”  
“I couldn’t call you.” Steve tightened his hold and hiccoughed a dry sob against the back of Danny’s head as he squeezed him tight enough to choke him. “If he had you calling you would show our hand and put you in more danger.”

“I’ll pick you up a burner tomorrow.” Danny soothed, his hands stroking slowly up and down Steve’s back.

“I’m sorry. I feel like such a fool.” Steve mumbled.

Danny pulled back to look into Steve’s face, “Don’t ever feel like a fool because you care.”

He reeled Steve back into his arms, his hands softly caressing Steve’s back as he tried to calm him. He could feel Steve’s heart racing against his own chest, berating himself for not think that Steve would be disoriented when he woke.

“It’s my bad, I should have thought you’d be worried.”

“All I could think of was how he could hurt you. And I couldn’t call you or our gig would be up.”

“I know and I’m so sorry.” Danny reached up to clasp Steve’s face in his hands and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Look at me. I’m fucking useless. I fell to pieces when you weren’t here. I couldn’t deal with my boyfriend leaving me at home alone. That is unacceptable. I’m a fucking SEAL.” He held his still quivering hands out in front of him, “I’m a joke.”

“How long have you been coping with all of this shit?” Danny waved it away as Steve started to argue with him. “No. Babe, everyone is allowed a meltdown occasionally; I’d be more worried about you if you didn’t wig out.”

“I’m trained to lock this shit away, D.” Steve moved to stand by the lanai doors, listlessly watching the surf roll in against the shore.

“Yes. To the normal everyday, mortgages, affairs, teenage rebellion stuff but your family? Babe, they make the CIA look like pre school. You shouldn’t be expected to deal with that on your own your whole life. Every now and again it’s going to rise up and bite you on that delectable ass.”

“You make it sound like it’s acceptable.”

Danny walked closer to Steve and wrapped both arms around his torso, carefully avoiding his rib cage and nuzzled into his back, rubbing his forehead against Steve’s shoulder. “It is acceptable. And this time it was as much my fault as yours. I promise you I won’t go anywhere without a plan and a ETA in future and I won’t leave the house without telling you.”

“So I’m effectively making you check in with me, that’s ridiculous.”

“No it’s not, it’s good team work, Mr go in and fix everything myself.”

“I don’t like having you in danger.” Steve turned in his arms and winced as he pulled Danny tight against his body.

“Have you noticed our jobs, tough guy? They are dangerous.” He nuzzled his face against the light fuzz of hair in the centre of his chest. He could hear the more normal thump of his heartbeat as he snuggled between Steve’s well defined pecs. “And just for the record, you know how you feel when I’m in danger? It’s exactly the same when I see you in danger. Only it’s worse for me because I have a little thing that is called restraint and a sense of self preservation.”

“We aren’t going to start this again are we?” Steve sighed, his hand lifting to stroke down Danny’s back soothingly.

“No, but you had better believe that sooner or later this discussion is going to happen again. And probably more than once.” Danny sighed.

“Why were you out so long anyway?” Steve frowned.

“Do you want a beer?” Danny asked as he disentangled himself from Steve’s embrace. “Because I’m definitely going to need one for this conversation.”

“What did you do, Danny?” Steve followed Danny from the den to the kitchen and accepted the bottle when Danny handed him a longboard.

“I had to go and see Grace.” Danny shrugged, flipping the cap off the bottle he took a long slug from the bottle.

“Oh, Shit. You told her?” Steve’s golden skin paled as he registered the words Danny was saying.

“Not that you were dead. I didn’t think I could do that to her.” Danny walked through to the living room and flopped onto the sofa. “Only it turns out I didn’t need to.”

“Didn’t need to?” Steve parroted as he perched himself on the edge of the sofa, facing Danny.

“Turns out that someone schooled my lovely young daughter in the fine art of accepting the loss of a military loved one.” Danny levelled a narrowed gaze at Steve. “Any idea who might have done that?”

“I’m sorry, Danny.” Steve swallowed hard. “I should have told you that I may have had a couple of chats with her about wars and loss.”

“Don’t be sorry, babe.” Danny shuffled forward on the seat and put his hand on Steve’s knee. “I just wish you had told me”

“I didn’t want you to be pissed at me for interfering. But I didn’t want Grace to have that cop at the door memory that I have. It damn near broke me and I think it did break Mary. It took us a long while to get over that, and I know we were never the same after that.” Steve took Danny’s hand in his own and let his thumbs trace over the knuckles. “I couldn’t destroy Gracie like that.”

“Because of your chats,” Danny’s voice was hoarse as he remembered the sombre and stoic way Grace handled his news. “Our beautiful little girl is so well adjusted and understanding that she was comforting us when we told her.”

Steve lifted Danny’s hand to his lips and pressed a soft open mouthed kiss to his knuckles. “Oh, Thank God.”

“I don’t know how you did it, but Grace is convinced you left because you love us and are staying away to keep us safe eternally.” Danny’s eyes were filled with a liquid sheen of tears. “Thank you for thinking to do that for her.”

“She’s your monkey.” Steve said with a shrug as if that was all the answer that was needed.

“She’s our monkey.” Danny murmured as he sank back into the sofa. Patting the seat beside him he waited until Steve had settled under his arm to finish his rundown of his day’s activities.

“I’m sorry you had to do that to her.” Steve turned his head to press a kiss to Danny’s temple.

“Believe it or not that wasn’t the hardest part of the day.” Danny sighed.

“What happened?” Steve tensed under his loose hold.

“Cath and I went to the Navy.” He explained. “We started the paper work for the official notification of your death.”

“Bet that wasn’t easy.” Steve almost seemed to burrow deeper under Danny’s arm as he spoke.

“Your Navy has so much paper work. I understand now why things don’t get done. And why you hate paperwork so much. Long story short, eventually you will have a plaque and ceremony at the Punchbowl, all your wishes will be carried out as you described them in your documentation. We will be having a much more timely ceremony to lure the rat bastard out of his hiding. And for the record I don’t want the house.”

“Good. Good.” Steve nodded along with Danny’s comments before his mind caught up with what he was listening to. “Wait….Why don’t you want the house? I wanted to leave a home for you and Gracie.”

“I understand that Babe, but I really don’t mean to sound ungrateful but if you are gone, I don’t ever want to come back inside this house again.”

“I don’t understand.” Steve frowned.

“This house is part of you. I can’t look at it without feeling you here. It will hurt too much to be here and know that you’ll never be here again. Does that make sense to you?”  
“It does now.” Steve mused. “I had never thought of it that way.”

“It’s not that I wouldn’t appreciate it. And I do, honestly I do, and I get what you were trying to do, but it would break me a little bit more every day to live here without you.”  
“I’ll change it when this is all sorted out. Mary can have the house and you’ll get my benefits.” Steve nodded thoughtfully.

“Are you even listening to yourself?” Danny looked at him aghast.

“Yes. It’s practical, we have to do this before every single deployment.”

“And that right there is why you are so fucking screwed up. All of you. Not just you. All your fucking crazy-assed brethren too.” Danny ranted. “Also, it’s not about the money.”  
“No, I know that Danny. And I understand where you’re coming from. But it is about my peace of mind, knowing that if the worst does happen, it helps that I can be sure that the ones I love are taken care of. That my being gone, doesn’t disadvantage them.”

“Babe there are so many things wrong with that statement that I’m not even sure where to start.”

“It’s peace of mind D. That’s all. It’s not saying that I don’t plan on coming back, it’s not that at all. It makes me fight harder to get back to you.” Steve turned away from Danny and rested his head in his hands, his fingers tangling in his hair as he struggled to think of a way to explain it to Danny.

Danny leaned back and watched his prospective lover closely. His heart ached for the struggle he knew was going on in the larger man’s brain. Suddenly none of this was important anymore. All of this? The peripheral stuff, all of this crap it was really nothing in the grand scheme of things all that mattered now was the both of them and they both wanted to be together. Taking a deep breath and throwing all his concerns aside, at least for the moment, Danny slid forward on the seat. He pressed his hand to Steve’s back, rubbing gently and leaned his head against Steve’s.

“It doesn’t matter, babe.” Danny sighed. “None of it really matters, and I’m sorry I’m being a prick about every little thing. I don’t mean to be.”

“Yes you do.” Steve laughed despite himself, “That’s your default setting.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.” Danny shrugged. “I only bitch at the one’s I love.”

“Well, fuck.” Steve tilted his head around until he was looking myopically into Danny’s face, “You must really love me.”

The moment the words were out of his mouth, Steve clamped his lips closed, instantly regretting his words. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Steve.” Danny leaned just far enough to press his lips lightly to Steve’s, “I said it was fast, I didn’t say it wasn’t true.”

“What would I do without you?” Steve sighed as the tension left his body.

“You’ll never have to learn.” Danny murmured.

~@~@~@~

There was a time in Danny’s life when he had never expected another happy, loving relationship, least of all with a man. The last time he had been in a relationship with a man it had been all about the sex, yet there was affection but it wasn’t really a relationship. Rachel had been unattainable and he had often thought of himself as punching above his weight, but he had loved her and had wanted to make everything they did special. Yet even then, he had never felt like this. They couldn’t have children of their own, but Danny’s romantic heart wanted nothing more than to settle down with his soft hearted SEAL. That’s why he had set about making their union as special as he could make it. He wasn’t going to rush his lover, especially now that he knew how inexperienced he was. All the while Danny knew that Steve would fight him on his special plans thinking that it was somehow denigrating his abilities or his experience in some way.

So, in a moment of military planning, Danny had hatched Operation Seduction. The irony of the situation was not lost on him. Walking through to the kitchen, Danny left the bags of dinner on the island block.

With Cath’s assistance, Mary and Joan had been moved into Kono’s house, and Steve was laying low at Casa McGarrett. The enforced inactivity was starting to open the cracks in Steve’s patience; it was common for Danny to return to the house after work or shopping to find his partner, instead of resting as instructed, coated in sweat and struggling through crunches or push ups. Once he’d even caught him doing pull ups on the edge of the upper deck in the living room. All it had taken to stop that heart stopping sight happening again was a raised eyebrow. Steve had dropped lithely to his feet on the floor and shrugged his shoulders, his face wearing one of those goofy grins he knew melted Danny’s heart.

It had taken two weeks, but today they had finally put the finishing preparations on the memorial service that was due to happen tomorrow. Crazily, Steve had decided that he wanted to attend his own memorial. Had it in his head that he was going to lose someone and he was terrified that it was going to be Danny. That was the other thing. Danny smiled to himself as he remembered their evenings. Their nights had evolved into dinner, watching a game and then retiring to the bedroom, lying on cool sheets, just talking. He had always thought they had already talked a lot and knew most of their past, but it the last two weeks he had learned things about Steve. He learned things that explained a lot about Steve’s emotional makeup and how his parents treated him. Danny had no fear that John McGarrett loved his children, both of them, but being raised by a mother widowed by a war that they hadn’t yet been a part of had shaped John in ways that weren’t necessarily healthy for him to raise children. Tough love was an integral part of young Steve’s emotional growth. Fall off your bike and break your arm? No crying son, you need to be tough. Fall out of a tree and break some ribs? Pull yourself together boy, it’s just ribs. Tackled badly in a peewee football team, a broken nose and a concussion? You should have run faster, son.

Danny’s biggest surprise had been the fact that Steve and Mary had been almost inseparable as children. He had somehow thought that the two siblings had always had the good boy, bad girl thing going on, but both of them had been good students, exemplary athletes and well behaved children. Even now as he thought about the wistful way Steve had spoken about losing ‘his’ Mary he couldn’t help but wonder how the McGarrett siblings would have ended up if the spectacular shenanigans of their mother hadn’t screwed them up.

The memorial was going to change Steve forever. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a ‘real’ memorial as such, Steve had been growing more and more tense about it. That was why tonight was going to be their night. He trotted up the stairs, his plans to change the sheets and arrange the room just how he wanted it. As he opened the bedroom door, he couldn’t help but smile. Steve had changed the bedclothes, right down to a new coverlet on the bed, the curtains were thrown open letting the tangy salt smell of the ocean air drift through the room. The bathroom door was closed, the sound of the running shower announcing where Steve was. 

Danny changed his shirt and ran lithely down the stairs and back into the kitchen. Moving quickly around the small kitchen, he extracted the cutlery and crockery he needed and walked through to the den. Pulling a cloth out of the side unit, Danny spread the cloth over the table and then set two places opposite each other on the table. Back in the kitchen, Danny served the Thai food he had brought home with him onto two plates. Placing them and two longboards on the table, Danny walked into the living room and just stood there, his hands jammed into his pockets tightly as he waited for Steve. It didn’t take long. Steve stepped out onto the landing and Danny couldn’t help the way his heart flip flopped in his chest when Steve saw him and his face was consumed by a broad, loving grin.

“D, I didn’t hear you get home.”

“Shower, babe, you must have had your head under the water.”

“Must have.” Steve murmured as he bounded down the stairs and pressed a wet open mouthed kiss on Danny’s lips. Bending slightly, Steve let his lips trail across Danny’s skin.

“Steven, behave.” Danny moaned against Steve’s hair.

“Why?” he looked up at Danny, his face the picture of innocence.

“Because we are going to have dinner and then we are going to watch a game and if you aren’t too tired, tonight might be your lucky night.”

Danny almost laughed at the expression on Steve’s face as he contemplated Danny’s words.


End file.
